As a member of Greek life at JMU, the clear double standard for sorority women vs. fraternity men is something I am passionate about. If you are unfamiliar with Greek life, or the double standard within, let me break it down.
These two videos are the top results from searching “fraternity rush video” and “sorority rush video” on Instagram.
The fraternity’s rush video is almost entirely centered on partying: drinking, flashing lights, girls dancing and making out, popping champagne, and beer bongs. Along with the occasional clips of scenery and extreme sports mixed in. (Frustratingly, it also promotes the use of women as a prop for the male’s social agenda but that is a topic of discussion for another day).
On the other hand the sorority’s rush video shows pure, wholesome activities: going to get ice cream, playing in the park, walking on the beach, looking through old photo books.
Both are recruiting for “Greek life,” yet they’re marketing two completely different experiences. Fraternities get to openly advertise the drinking, the parties, and the fun. Sororities are discouraged from doing the same, and honestly, that’s frustrating.
Now that we have established that the double standard exists, allow me to address some of my frustrations:
The Reason to Join
The main problem to me is the outward facing reason why college students join Greek life.
For men, it’s simple, they join a fraternity to find a brotherhood, to drink, and to host parties. There’s no hiding it, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s all over their social media, and they openly talk about it when asked. Which is great. It’s nice they have the right to properly advertise their organization.
For women, it’s a little more complicated. Women aren’t allowed to join Greek life for the sole reason to socialize with their sisters. During sorority recruitment you are not allowed to say A WORD about going out to parties, socializing with boys, or drinking alcohol at all. If you do, it’s seen as a red flag, and could get you dropped from the sorority. It’s all for the bigger picture. The sisterhood, to find your bridesmaids, to support their philanthropy etc.
Greek Life Recruitment Standards
There are two very different paths for the “recruitment” or “rush” process for sororities vs. fraternities.
Let’s compare the different experiences at JMU:
Sorority recruitment
- Two full weekends, Friday through Sunday
- Rounds include Open House, Philanthropy, Sisterhood, Preference, and Bid Day
- Each round has a strict list of what you can and can’t talk about
- Dress codes and timing requirements that change day to day
- From my experience, roughly 10 hours a day on Greek Row, both for members and potential new members
Fraternity rush
- According to @jmu_ifc, IFC Orientation, then four days of Open Rush Events
- Two-three days of interviews leading up to Bid Day
- Events include football watch parties, yard games, and basketball
- Most events run about 1-3 hours on weeknights
After some quick math, you can see that Sorority recruitment takes up about 60 hours across six days. Fraternity open rush adds up to a maximum of 21 hours, if events were held for all 7 days and each lasted 3 hours.
And that 60 hours isn’t spent hanging out. It’s scripted. Every round, each house knows exactly what it can say, what it can’t, what to wear, and when to be where. These rules are set by JMU Panhellenic and each sorority’s national standards. Meanwhile, the guys are watching football and playing cornhole.
I’m not saying fraternity rush is easy or that the guys don’t have their own pressures. But the difference in what’s expected, in time, in image, and in what you’re allowed to say out loud, is hard to ignore. One process says “come hang out.” The other says “be perfect for 60 hours straight.”
Staying in Good Standing
The double standard doesn’t end on Bid Day. Once you’re in a sorority, you have to uphold your membership.
At JMU, requirements vary by chapter, but members are generally expected to attend Panhellenic presentations, events hosted by outside organizations, Diversity, Equity and Inclusion presentations, and complete community service. Many chapters also require a “sober point,” which means staying sober to monitor mixers. If you miss one or more of these requirements in a semester, you could face a fine, a strike, a spot on the sober list, or land in bad standing with your chapter.
To be clear, I think it’s great that JMU offers these events. They’re a great way for members to stay educated and involved in the community. What frustrates me is that, as far as I can tell, fraternity members don’t have a comparable set of standards to meet. If these requirements are valuable, why are they only expected of women?
So, what needs to change?
To be fair, there are reasons behind these rules. Panhellenic and national organizations would argue that strict standards keep recruitment fair and protect both women and their chapters’ reputations. I get it.
The rules may have good intentions, but they are far from equal. Women have to follow a script, dress a certain way, avoid certain topics, attend presentations, do community service, sober monitor functions, and the list goes on. Meanwhile, fraternity men get to hangout and drink.
Women and men in Greek life should be held to the same standards. If fraternity men can be open about why they joined, sorority women should be able to be too. And if these rules are truly necessary, why aren’t they applied to everyone?
Women aren’t asking for special treatment. We’re asking why we’re held to regulations the men don’t even have to think about. That is what needs to change.