I’ve been thinking a lot about my body – something many women often do – especially what constitutes “normal” versus “abnormal,” “healthy” versus “concerning.” I recently encountered a scare that, once talked about, I was told occurred to many women. My mom told me, “I think every woman has this happen at least once in their life.” If that’s the case, I wondered, then how come I never hear about it? Over my winter break, I’d realized one of my breasts was much larger and much more dense than the other. Poking it felt like prodding a hard rock. And, no, I wasn’t PMS-ing (since women’s issues are usually related to their period, right?)
I attempted to brush it under the rug, thinking that it was just my body’s inability to operate as it should. Bodies fluctuate all the time, I repeated in my mind, as if repetition could make me believe it. This was until I was in my bathroom and decided to do what I was avoiding – feel for a lump. I felt a couple of small masses and quickly reached for my phone, which promptly led me to a Reddit rabbit hole that confirmed my worst fears. It has to be cancer. It was at this moment that my ears began to ring and my vision blurred. I found myself in a ball on the cold bathroom floor, nauseous and dizzy, skin so white I looked like a corpse. The next day, as soon as the offices opened, I made an appointment with my gynecologist.
My hands were damp with sweat as I lay on my back, paper crinkling under my squirming body, the woman feeling around my breasts, gently asking if it hurt. She didn’t seem scared; in fact, she echoed my mom’s remarks. “This happens to many women.” She asked me if I slept enough. If I was maybe just stressed. Maybe it’s an excess of caffeine. Or it might just be hormonal. I said, yes, maybe it’s caffeine. She suggested I cut back my coffee intake and see someone at school if it got worse, but it probably wasn’t serious. Probably wasn’t serious? The appointment provided me no sense of solace. In fact, I was enraged about the fact that she didn’t seem to be understanding my concerns. And if this was a common occurrence, why did it feel so singular?
One notable woman in the limelight who has spoken out against the unfair treatment of women in healthcare is Lena Dunham, known for the creation of HBO’s Girls. Dunham recently detailed in her memoir, Famesick, her experience with endometriosis. Endometriosis, according to Mayo Clinic, is a chronic reproductive condition where uterine tissue grows outside of the uterus, resulting in cramping and chronic pain. Due to the extreme pain she was suffering because of the condition, she opted for a hysterectomy, including the removal of her uterus and cervix. Following the release of Dunham’s memoir, she spoke with the Today show about her healthcare experience. “It’s interesting because the framing is that you make a choice to do this,” said Dunham, referring to the hysterectomy. “But if you’re in pain 24 hours a day, it isn’t really a choice because no one can live like that.”
“What breaks my heart is there are so many people living like that because the delay to diagnosis for endometriosis averages 10 years,” she added. Dunham continued, telling hosts that too many women are having their symptoms dismissed when seeking medical attention. She stated that it’s hard to find a “doctor who will look at you and not just say, ‘This is what it feels like to be a woman,’ or, ‘This is what it feels like to have your period.’ “
It’s time for women to be believed when they visit the doctor. For their words to feel listened to instead of minimized – doctors to take the concerns of women as seriously as they would if they occurred to men.
It’s time for being believed to not be an exception, but the expectation.