A compilation of messages left in the notes app: All the text messages, the cries for help, and the 2 am thoughts
Although this isn’t the ‘average blog post’, this is a project I’ve been thinking about for years. As a generation notorious for growing up on mobile phones, some of our most intimate messages are kept on the notes app. From simple lists and random passwords, we also keep our spontaneous thoughts and long, thought-out messages. Whether the note was a draft for something never sent or for words left unspoken, delicate intimacy seeps through this simple app. In a world with a callused heart, society lacks authentic, expressed emotions. Maybe the notes app doesn’t solve a societal-wide notion of concealing “weakness”, yet, it opens up the idea of a more expressive collective. I asked various people in my life, collective of different backgrounds and demographics, if they had any notes they would volunteer to contribute. In respect of the authors’ real, raw thoughts and emotions I left the messages anonymous. The following are real quotes from real people.
I hope this can serve as comfort and validation, and ultimately reveal the beautifully painful words from the unfiltered soul.
Collected from a mix of my peers and myself
“I fought for us for more than a month after you ended it and still nothing. After exhausting and depressing nights I finally started to try and move on. You waited so long to realize that ‘I was the one’ when the whole time I always knew it was you. Now you are regretting it and trying to salvage what you ended and I’m trying to heal.”
“I miss you.”
“So we sit here, alone, with our racing minds and silent mouths and anxious hands, trying to make sense of the world”
“i give so much more than i take- please give me some back”
“To my younger self: I’m sorry that I’m not what you dreamed or wanted me to be.”
“Hoping, praying, that someone has our call for help and unzips our lips so we can speak our minds and run free”
“you dont get to assume anything about me when it doesn’t effect you directly. my relationships and friendships are mine and are dealt with me and the other person directly. i texted you in hopes to better my relationship with you and only you, if thats not something you’re interested in currently then leave it at that, i’ve put in my effort to make things better. i texted you to try and help our friendship, not for a critic on how i’m living my life with other people, because i know my own worth and my heart.”
“I like to think I’ve grown and changed soo much this past year. It hasn’t been my intentions to use you all in anyway or be a selfish friend. It really hurts me that It’s come across that way, but I can’t stress enough how much that’s not the case from me. You girls don’t deserve a friend like the one I’ve been, and I’m glad that these thoughts were pointed out to me.”
“Just because you have it worse, doesn’t mean that I can’t be sad.”
“it hurts so much to have someone believe lies about you and not have an open mind to hear anything other wise”
“i’m finally proud of myself“
“Literally never felt like this before ❤“
“You are one of the best things that’s ever happened to me and I love every second I spend with you. I wish we could be with each other today 😦 but we’ll be back together soon.“
“hey. i know you say your sorry but at this point it doesnt seem like any of you guys actually care right now- so i’m just gonna stop putting effort in, if all you’re gonna do is make excuses to not see me, lie to cover up plans youd guys rather do, or not follow through with any plans weve made- bc at this point i just feel like im being annoying. lowkey been crying every night bc of all this, and im not saying that for sympathy, im saying it to show you how much i care abt you and everyone and how much i miss you guys. i just don’t appreciate you giving me false hope every weekend and making it seem like you wanna hang when it never ends up working out.”
“I hope my future daughter doesn’t live in the same, corrupt world I do.”
“i just want to be wanted”
“What I would give to know what it’s like to be picked first, texted first, invited first. Or even just picked at all.”
“Sometimes a girl just needs a reason to cry- Mom”
“let this world know me by my love”
“Times i thought of him: Day 1: ///// //// Day 2:///// // Day 3: ///// ///// //“
“I’m so disappointed in how things have turned out. I never would have thought you’d treat me like this or that this is how it would end. the last thing I wanted to do was to text you this but you are not mature enough and do not care enough to make the effort to speak w me and maintain our friendship.“
“We never got to experience the beginning of the end of the last’s of the firsts -A covid senior“
i want something bad to happen so people will give me attention. what is wrong with me.
Does it ever get better?