Satirical Bill Turns Healthcare on its Head

Texas Rep. Jessica Farrar introduced a state bill, HB4260, on Friday, March 10th which is truly amazing. HB4260 has multiple parts, all of which mimic and mirror current Texas legislation, but with a twist. Instead of focusing on how the state can regulate the bodies of citizens seeking health care services such as contraceptives or abortions, it instead focuses on services such as vasectomies and Viagra. And it does so while brilliantly pointing out the ridiculousness of current legislation.

Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

The first is a section that protects doctors who refuse to perform vasectomies, prescribe Viagra, or perform colonoscopies. This is similar to a law passed in Texas that protects medical practitioners against wrongful birth lawsuits.

HB4260 would also require a 24-hour waiting period for vasectomies or Viagra prescriptions, just like the waiting period for abortion services in Texas and 26 other states.

The bill also outlines the requirement of “medically-unnecessary digital rectal exam and magnetic resonance [imaging] of the rectum” before any elective vasectomy, colonoscopy, or Viagra prescription. Texas, like several other states, requires an ultrasound to be performed before an abortion, displaying and describing the image of the fetus, even if it’s not deemed medically necessary by their physician.

Another section requires folks seeking health services to review a pamphlet called “A Man’s Right to Know” with their doctor. Sound familiar? That’s because it is a replica of the state’s current law that introduced the pamphlet,  “A Woman’s Right to Know,” a required read for all patients who are seeking abortion services. This pamphlet contains inaccurate and misleading information, such as the alleged medical link between abortions and the likelihood of breast cancer.

Last, and certainly not least, this bill outlines that a $100 fine be issued to any instance masturbation outside the vagina, as this violates Texas’ policy of the sanctity of life. Semen should be seen just as an egg – a tool to be used to create more life. Any person ‘wasting’ that tool should be fined. As the teachings go – abstinence is the best policy. Either abstain or impregnate. Those are our two options.

The full satirical bill can be read here and I highly recommend the read.

Farrar was quoted saying, “Men have to answer for their actions.” In a world where the cis men in politics are able to control, mandate, and restrict bodies seeking health services, this bill says no more. We all know that there is no way this bill will come close to passing, but hopefully, the use of language taken directly from legislation about regulating health care for Texans seeking abortion services toward the regulation of health care for Texans seeking vasectomy services will make legislators stop and think.

This bill is absolutely ridiculous, you say. Who does this cis female legislator think she is, telling me what I can and can’t do with my body? you say. Who does she think she is making my health care less accessible, making it more expensive? Exactly! So, maybe you should reconsider the bills you backed that do exactly that for other folks.

Feature Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

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