Welcome to SIMP NATION.
On TikTok, I constantly see people using the audio that says something along the lines of, “This is a public service announcement, welcome to simp nation.” The videos are usually taken by a girl, with a guy, whether it is a boyfriend or not, cuddling with them. As soon as they hear the audio, they get embarrassed and either cover the camera with their hand or laugh and hide their face. But why? What’s wrong with ‘simping’ over someone you love?
The term ‘simp’ was something I started to hear at the beginning of 2020. I remember some of my guy friends talking about other guys saying “ah, he’s such a simp.” At the time, people defined the term a little differently than they do now. Back when this term first surfaced, many people claimed a simp was a guy who obsesses over a girl, even if she’s completely uninterested in him, and someone who does things just to get attention from her.
But throughout quarantine, it has seemed to transform into something different. Simp is now defined as a person who does too much for the person they like. When in reality, this person is just respecting their significant other.
If you call someone a simp, they become defensive, as if being called a good person is an insult. How does treating your significant other to a coffee date define you as a simp? How does buying flowers for your girlfriend define you as a simp? Isn’t that just a nice gesture for someone you like?
What is really interesting, is that the term simp has really been used only for heterosexual men. But what about different genders with different sexual orientations? Would a female be considered a simp if she did the same thing for a female partner? Why is there still this stigma around straight guys being nice guys? Has the term simp become the new way to make men feel ashamed for having emotions? It’s a shame that there is a double standard around showing emotion. Crying isn’t considered to be masculine, and men have always been taught that it’s embarrassing to do so. Here is yet another way that men are made fun of for having emotions and caring about someone.
To read a great post about masculinity and double standards for men, click here.
The idea of simping also goes along with the “nice guys always finish last” and how as straight women, we are told that a guy likes you if he teases you or is mean to you. These ideas encourage and promote guys to act like douchebags, because if they are nice to us, we think there is something wrong with them or that they’re weird. Why has being mean to women been normalized?
Another trend that I frequently see on TikTok are girls talking about their ‘type.’ They will show screenshots of messages from guys saying cute and affectionate things with heart emojis, and then they gag at the sight of it. Then they show texts from a guy saying, “goodnight loser I hate u” and they light up inside. It has been so ingrained in us that this negative and abusive language is normal. I understand that teasing someone is different sometimes, but being blatantly mean is not love. These toxic traits are being encouraged still, and I can only imagine how that might transfer into the relationship later in life. This could also affect future relationships this person may have, therefore accepting this toxic behavior can really have detrimental lasting effects. If someone is used to nearly verbally abusing someone as a joke at the start of a relationship, who’s to say they won’t genuinely say these same things in the future and think it’s alright.
Respect for women, or respect for anyone, should never be looked at as embarrassing. Being someone that cares about someone else and treats them right isn’t something to be ashamed of. Not going to lie, I would love to have someone simp over me. It’s time to normalize men having emotions and caring about someone. I’m sick of guys doing the bare minimum and getting credit, and the guys that do the absolute most are getting made fun of.