Dear Condescending Egotistical Mansplainer,
I hope this letter finds you well. Have you already found something you need to correct in it yet? I am sure you have! I just wanted to thank you from the very bottom of my heart for being the perfect embodiment of every woman’s worst nightmare of a man to encounter, for many, many reasons. First, let’s start off with your passion for interrupting me, or any other female for that matter.. I mean gosh you are really just doing the class a favor! What could us women possibly have to say of substance, right? So on behalf of all the men in the classroom, thank you for saving their precious time by cutting me off mid-sentence, even though I am equally, if not more, qualified than you, to speak on the subjects discussed in class. Secondly, I would like to discuss your lovely habit of repeating exactly what I just stated by starting your arrogant charade off with “here let me actually say that in a better way.” I mean, you are really doing everybody in the class a favor.
I know I personally would never be able to believe something unless it came out of a man’s mouth too, because of their amazing track record in speaking nothing but the truth to us females! Third on the list of your exemplary qualities is your reaction to anything and everything a woman has to say. Whether it is counterarguing a point you made or even agreeing with a point you made, I can always count on you to laugh and roll your eyes in awe of the fact that I would have the audacity to speak at all whatsoever. Like you mentioned before, “girls these days just open their legs for anyone” but wow, who knew we could also open our mouths for something other than a sexual act too!
Above all these outstanding characteristics, one that never fails to leave me completely speechless is not only your lack of a filter but more importantly, your lack of brain cells! I mean there is just never a dull moment with you! Whether it is openly disagreeing with feminist theories while sitting in a coed classroom being taught by a brilliant Doctor with several renound publications that just so happens to be written by a WOMAN, or even throwing out the claim that the #MeToo movement is for whiney women who just need some attention, you really seem to cover all the levels of fcking stupid. Considering I do not want to take up any more of your super important and limited time, I will just conclude by saying thank you, again, for defying all odds and possessing more worthless, toxic and embarrassing qualities in one single human than I ever thought possible. Good luck with the rest of your miserably delusional life.
The Bitch From Class Who Has The Ovaries To Dare Speak
In case that letter didn’t set you off enough, here’s a link to another lovely article touching upon just one of the ENDLESS horrible things men do- mansplain