Biology does NOT give you an excuse to treat the ones you love like shit.
Family members are supposed to be there for you – through everything. They’re the forever-kind of relationships. The ones that last you far past your friends and partners.
But blood does not give you a reason to treat me like shit.
I grew up with an abusive mother. Nothing I ever did made my mom happy. I’d clean the house – she would comment on how dirty it was. I’d pick my siblings up when she asked – she’d complain that I should have been even earlier. I would help make dinner – she would bitch about how I did it wrong. Nothing. Was. Ever. Good. Enough.
It was after 18 years that I decided to stop communication with my mom.
Friends tell me that “it’ll all get better.”
Family tells me that I’m “wrong for abandoning my mother.”
Strangers tell me that they’ve “been there” and they used to “fight” with their moms “all the time.”
But no. You don’t know my story. You can’t tell me it will get better. It didn’t get better after 17 years.
Because biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.
Please don’t be afraid to remove toxic people out of your life – regardless of their relationship to you.
A sibling, a father, a mother, an aunt or uncle – it doesn’t matter. If you Google search something along the lines of “cutting off a parent,” you’ll find resources for parents who have been cut off by their children. You’ll find things that shame children for “thinking they know what’s best.”
But no one knows you like you. No one should get in the way of your happiness. And no one should get a free pass to be an asshole, just because they’re related to you.
Feature Photo by Ryan Moreno on Unsplash