First off, Rest in Peace Malcolm McCormick, otherwise known as Mac Miller, you were taken from us way too soon.
“Just say you hate women and go.”
Last Friday Mac Miller was found dead in his home from a suspected overdose. If you’re unfamiliar with Mac Miller, he was a popular rapper and singer that was known for pushing the limits in his music all while delivering raw material at the same time. Mac Miller dated Ariana Grande, another popular artist known for her singing and acting talents, for about 2 or 3 years starting in 2016. The couple broke up earlier this year and have since then moved on from each other.
Soon after the breakup Mac Miller crashed his car and a twitter user blamed Grande for the incident. Grande then went to social media with a response (pictured below).
When Grande said “Shaming/blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his shit together is a very major problem…please stop doing that.” –why does our society here in the US feel the need to blame women? Is it because of society’s misogynistic ways and always holding women to blame for their actions? Is it because boys will always be boys? Or is it because women are only meant to put men back together and when we can’t, WE’VE failed?
Unfortunately for Grande, this one twitter user’s misguided opinion was not alone and was only the beginning. Shortly after Mac Miller’s death on Friday, Grande’s Instagram blew up in shambles with comments filing in about His death being Her fault. The comments were so horrendous and threatening that she was forced to disable her comments on her Instagram.
However, some twitter users are still rampant with commentary about the situation. A tweet that went viral and that’s very relevant is pictured below.
Demi overdoses, it’s her fault bc she’s a grown woman who chose to do drugs, Mac Miller overdoses and it’s Ariana Grande’s fault bc she broke up with him. Just say you hate women and go…
— ᵂⁱᵗʰ ᵗʰᵒˢᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿ ᶜᵒʷᵍⁱʳˡ ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿ ᵇᵒᵒᵗˢ (@Deenaeeee) September 7, 2018
Quick Background – Demi Lovato, another singer/actress who is currently in recovery from a recent overdose, had a similar situation that can be compared to Mac Miller’s. Shortly after her overdose people blamed her for her own actions and criticized her for relapsing. Compared to Mac Miller’s overdose which led to his death, instead of society blaming addiction or placing it on no one at all they became fixated with Ariana Grande.
Twitter user, @Deenaeeee, made a thread with the continuance of users saying various comments about society’s flawed gender rules and the “blame game”. One screenshot even shows a user stating they wished Lovato had died instead of Mac Miller – because we can just pawn someone’s life right?
Since y’all saying I’m “tripping” pic.twitter.com/gqM6EYt1WN
— ᵂⁱᵗʰ ᵗʰᵒˢᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿ ᶜᵒʷᵍⁱʳˡ ᶠᵘᶜᵏⁱⁿ ᵇᵒᵒᵗˢ (@Deenaeeee) September 8, 2018
After a few days of the continuous blame on Grande, a good friend of Mac Miller’s, Shane Powers, spoke up and said Ariana Grande had nothing to do with his friend’s death, it was the addiction.
Ariana Grande didn’t kill Mac. Mac killed Mac. Leave her alone. He’d be furious with ANYONE who made any shitty comment to her.
I’d fuckin know.
Leave her alone.
— Shane Powers (@Theshanepowers) September 8, 2018
Despite the idea that prince charming came to the rescue, Shane Powers got backlash about posting the tweet above and users still accuse Grande for “leaving him in his time of need.” Because you know, it didn’t matter how toxic the relationship was for Her.
Hopefully Ariana Grande isn’t taking all of this to heart because people can be so insensitive when it comes to celebrities, especially female celebrities and I can only imagine how hard it must be to be under a microscope consistently. Grande’s year has been faced with extreme adversity, nevertheless, I just want her to know she’s got @FerociousFem ‘s support.
Photocreds:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/trippchicago/4525582689
http://www.flickr.com/photos/iannetterphotography/23574831663
http://www.flickr.com/photos/justentertainment/16950861985/in/photostream/
https://www.elle.com/culture/music/a22094769/ariana-grande-sweetener-album-manchester-cover-story/
ShoutOut! James Madison University 
Wow this is great post! I got so mad when people were blaming Ariana! Literally absurd that she would even be blamed for this. Addiction is a very scary thing and in no way at all is it Ariana’s fault!
LikeLike
Thanks for your support! It frustrated me so much when I went online and only saw comments blaming her! I could not contain my thoughts on this! I also understand that education on addiction can can be very hard to obtain and very underestimated by mainstream society that it isn’t a silent killer, when it very much is!
LikeLike
@FerociousFem, I think you bring up a vital negative and stereotypical stigma that suggests that women are inherently guilty of everything. Although I think that although your statement of “Boys will always be boys” is valid, I do want to point out that multiple women on social media have also blamed Ariana for Mac Miller’s death. However, I do agree that it is society’s misogynistic ways that always hold women as the culprits. I think that the cultural system of the patriarchy upholds the traditionalistic value that if anything happens to a man, it is inherently a woman’s fault, which is both degrading and regressive. I also think that it is way too common for society to find scapegoats to those suffering from mental illnesses and addictions instead of addressing the problem directly. For example, there are many institutional problems that people just do not want to face nor address head-on from the societal pressures of beauty to the pressures of fame. It just makes me wonder what will it take for society to change? How will traditional values switch? What can we do as a society to neither continue nor conform to this stigma?
Regardless, thank you so much for bringing these issues to light and I cannot wait to read further posts from you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your support and yes I know I saw women had said terrible comments about her as well, I was referring to “boys will be boys” in regards to how Ariana was belittled in the first tweet about saying that she was his babysitter and how people suggested that she should’ve stuck around and have helped him because that’s a “woman’s place”. I agree too that it is the bigger issue of our cultural system that has been built on women being the culprits that has led to this blame game of 2018 at the feet of Ariana Grande and it is so unfortunate. Thank you also for bringing more questions to me, your feedback is SOO appreciated!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Adding the part about demi’s overdose shows was so important to show just how ridiculous the entire situation is!! I agree that Ariana’s “involvement”in what happened to Mac says a lot about how women are treated not only in society but also in the media.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for your support! & yes I felt I had to bring her up because maybe that wasn’t the case but both situations were way too similar to not see the parallel of society’s treatment of women in the media.
LikeLike
This is so important. Society’s tendency to put the lives of other people in the hands of women because of patriarchal standards that women need to be the caregivers and that their roles are to constantly give and mother other people no matter what the cost maybe to their well-being. It’s unfair and foolish that these expectations have been perpetuated this long and it needs to end here and now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your support! I completely agree I’ve had enough and it hurt so much to read the comments that people were giving her because she was honestly grieving too and I believe it hurt her to seeing how many people were putting her down for leaving a toxic situation and simply trying to do better for herself.
LikeLike
This was actually so upsetting to see all over social media. Great touch of adding in what recently happened with Demi and the obvious double standards we have for men and women.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your support and honestly twitter did the work for me! I saw it and it made me angry so I wrote about it!
LikeLike