Now that Halloween’s over everyone is geared up for the next two holidays which break our budgets and also break my sanity. Whenever people ask me what is my least favorite holiday, I say Thanksgiving and they are instantly confused. There’s free food and spending time with the family, what’s better than that. My reality is a little bit different then a picture perfect family gathered around a dinner table, instead of opening up a can of yams, my family opens up good ole patriarchy.
The women in my family are expected to do all the cooking, while the men sit around and watch football, and since I do not cook as much, I’m left questioning what my place is during Thanksgiving. If you wanted to be a smart ass, you could simply say, well eating of course, but my problem is a little bit trickier than that. My family puts cooking on such a pedestal, that if you’re a woman and not helping cook then you’re deemed less valuable.
I am now twenty one and playing the I’m too young to cook card, is getting pretty old. It’s not that I can’t cook, I’m just never going to be as good of a cook like my mother, my aunts, or even my sisters, and quite frankly I don’t care to be. Last Thanksgiving, my aunt videotaped me making corn bread and thought that was the most impressive thing, but I literally put the mix into a pan and baked it, it’s nothing noteworthy. Now I don’t want to say that I’m not appreciative for the cooking, because it takes a lot to slave in a kitchen all day, but I don’t want to be expected to do that just because I’m a woman. I will help in the kitchen, if that’s needed, but also I want everyone to help the women in my family who work so hard to make the meal. I don’t see my Dad being mocked because he’s making the turkey, or my aunts complaining about the men not helping. I just want a little bit more of equality in the kitchen, and lastly I don’t want my worth to be determined by what I can do with the ingredients.