I acknowledge that everyone feels pressure in day-to-day life, but who feels it the most? I think the vast majority of women could attest that they feel immense responsibility to fill their traditional gender roles and identities. To be more specific, I think teenage girls are impacted the most. Society’s overall accepted gender norms are harming teenagers’ identity building and their mental health. Gender norms and expectations vary vastly depending on culture, place, upbringing, etc.
If this statistic is new to you, here are some examples of gender based norms young girls face most regularly:
- Appearance pressure (we’re expected to look a certain way)
- Behavioral expectations (we’re taught to be quiet and well behaved)
- Domestic responsibility (we’re expected to fulfill cleaning and cooking stereotypes)
- Emotional control (we’re assumed to be characters that embrace tenderheartedness and nurture)
The National Library of Medicine states that overall difficulty levels reported by girls were significantly higher than those of boys across a range of mental health problems and subjective well-being. “Young people have shown clear signs of mental distress as they get older. This escalation was particularly evident among girls. Distress can come at the time of significant physical, emotional, and social changes in an adolescent’s life and can be heightened during secondary school transition. This evidence highlights the importance of early intervention to reduce the risk of distress” (NLM – NIH, 2022).
Growing up, going to well funded schools with very academically successful students, and living in a decently high income suburb right outside of DC, the pressure to be one of the best always felt immense. Surrounded by people and peers with high levels of achievement felt like a dark cloud I couldn’t escape from.
A few summers ago, the infamous Barbie movie came out, and I felt seen. From statements like “It is literally impossible to be a woman” and “You have to be thin, but not too thin… You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people”, I realized so, so many girls just like me feel the same exact way. The Barbie movie helped me acknowledge the role overload I was experiencing, especially at a time when I was preparing to come to college and figuring out an even more than normal amount of balance in my life. I wish I could go back and tell myself that it’s okay to not be doing everything, everywhere, all at once.
Where do we go from here?
- Acknowledgement: Recognizing that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed when trying to fit into never ending societal and cultural norms. Addressing the feelings of uncertainty and overload fosters a space that promotes acceptance and understanding. Talking about this should not be seen as embarrassing or as a sign of weakness.
- Awareness: Promoting awareness reduces stigma and overall feelings of being misunderstood. When working with anyone, especially teenage girls, it’s important to understand how many pressures they really face and how overwhelming said pressures or expectations can be.
The pressure teen girls face to be extraordinary is having an effect on their identity formation, mental health, and capacity to operate at an important stage in their development. Even if society may take a while to change, we need to provide safe areas where our teenagers can be themselves, even if they don’t quite yet know who they are. By creating these safe spaces, we are seeking to help teenage girls in our lives create identities free from unreasonable demands and grow into independent, self-assured adults.
I wish I could tell my younger self it’s okay to not be everywhere and everything all at once. Embrace the overwhelm.