Have you been asked by people why you’re still single? Or asked constantly if you’re dating or talking to someone? I have.
There is constant pressure for people to be dating or in a relationship, I know I’ve felt that pressure. While being in a relationship may be beneficial in some aspects, you don’t always need to be in a relationship now or ever. There can be a negative stigma around being single or being single can feel like it means being alone. People may love single life or hate it. There are usually two sides people feel when they’re single, one being that they are thriving and loving independent life and then there’s a side of feeling alienated and stressed. There’s such shame on people who aren’t in relationships, which shouldn’t keep happening.
For holidays this gets even worse. Everyone has this assumption that you should have a date or a partner during the holiday. Single people can be made to feel out of place during the holidays. They may feel compelled to bring a date to any holiday. When meeting up with family members, they may ask you about your love life, which can make single people feel worse.
I have dealt with this a lot in my life, as I’ve been single my whole life. Every time I catch up with family members I’ve been asked about my relationship life. I’ve been asked if I’m seeing anyone, talking to anyone, or dating around. It gets hard when I get asked about my relationship life when I’m single and I have struggled with feeling alone or feeling the need to have a partner in my life. There’s always a pressure that I’ve felt to be talking to someone or looking for a relationship. When coming home to see my family from school I don’t want to be asked about my relationship life, nor should they be asking me about it. I’ve experienced the two sides to being single. I’ve had hard times where I’ve felt pressure to be dating when all my friends were. Then I’ve also felt amazing being single, and feel very independent and more myself. It took me a while, but I am content with being single, and some people may not understand that.
Women have been pressured to be in relationships because society has made them feel they have to. From a young age, women have felt the pressure to find a partner or that they’ll only be happy if they are in a relationship. There’s a side to this pressure when talking about age. Men don’t feel the pressure to be in relationships at an earlier age than women do. For example, at age 28 women may feel more pressure from society to be dating than men do at the age of 28. Women were conditioned at a young age or taught at a young age that they need to be in a relationship. Fairy tales have shown us this, like when Cinderella was shown to only be happy when she found her prince charming. Women were conditioned at a young age that they’d fall in love with a man, not a woman or man, just a man. Most of this is conditioned to women, not men for example men are told they’d be astronauts, and women were told they’d be a bride. There’s also this pressure from friends when going out. People always put pressure on single people to find a person to talk to at a bar or to look for a potential partner. It’s also when you have friends in relationships and they bother you about finding someone or constantly trying to set you up with people.
There should be no negative associations with being single. It’s perfectly fine to be single or be in a relationship, whatever makes a person happy. It’s normal if you want to work on yourself, be independent, or have not found the right person to invest your time in.
IT’S OKAY TO BE SINGLE!!
This guilt and shame around being single can be overcome by loving yourself and loving the way you live your life. Being single has so many positive sides no one thinks about, like prioritizing yourself, your own schedule, making your own choices, being independent, and more. I hope this blog has helped people realize the pressure women have, especially at a young age to be in relationships, and realize and help debunk these stereotypes.