Hey all you cool cats and kittens,
Okay y’all, it’s time to talk about our feelings. I know personally that has never been very easy for me. I want to specifically talk about crying. I thought I would narrow down to this because personally crying is not an easy thing for me. However, I started a new birth control and she is taking a toll on how I express my feelings. Before I stared this lovely little pill, the way I would express an emotion was very fiery. It never involved tears. It would always be through “having an attitude” or just being straight up angry, but my number one tactic was to just bottle it up. In my mind, it was better to not think about my feelings. I would deal with it if necessary instead of crying over something that seemed so small.
Of course, this only lead to what I call my “breakdowns.” My “breakdowns” would go like this, I would drive my car and I would accidentally cut off a car or I would remember something that generated a lot of stress…… then BOOM… I would be crying. It was awful and unpredictable, but I can promise you, no matter how unpredictable, you can bet your lucky dollar it was never in front of anyone else.
I grew up on the moral passed down by my father that you aren’t allowed to cry. He forced down my throat that crying was for the weak. Even as a little kid, no matter how horrendous the injury, if I were to shed a tear, I had way more to worry about than that cut on my upper lip. I thank my dad for not ever letting me cry when it comes to my remarkable pain tolerance, but the way my emotions are expressed was severely injured.
Even though crying is more common now, it truly takes a toll on my self esteem if I am seen with tears in my eyes. Every time I cry, especially if it is in front of someone, I immediately start to beat myself up about it. The craziest part of all of this, is that when I cry my brain tells me I am a crybaby, but when someone else cries it tells me, “uh girl you better go console that person!”
So my friends, the moral of the story is that crying IS OKAY. Regardless if it’s because you saw a really cute cat, or because you just lost an opportunity of a lifetime… cry baby, cry. Let whatever is causing you turmoil fall from your eyes, and then rub that shit all over you face because tears are good for your skin. Don’t listen to Fergie on this one. Big girls DO cry. Hell, everyone cries. Crying can be good for you. I have now listed it off in my mind as a form of self-care, and it has helped so much. I highly recommend it.
So baby, next time you feel those tears welling up in your eyes and you try to push them down, think of ya girl FancyF3m and cry.
Take care of yourselves lovelies, wash those hands and stay at home!