An Open Letter to My Transphobic (Future) Father-In-Law

Dear Future Father-In-Law, 

Surprise! I bet you did not think you would be getting a letter from me, did you? Well, that is just how I am, full of surprises. 

I wanted to start this letter off by saying thank you. Thank you for being truly awful when talking about me and how you “don’t get it” (the only thing you need to “get” is over yourself). Thank you for making me laugh when you referred to me as “dipshit” over the phone like some kind of middle school bully. Thank you for showing your daughter your true colors (rainbow flag pun intended) and proving how incessantly hateful you are. 

Thank you for showing her how a father should not act. 

Over the course of the last year, you were told of my transgender identity (which as I recall, you were totally cool with), you accepted me as your daughter’s friend, talked to me over FaceTime on various occasions, and even invited me to stay the night at your home. But once your daughter told you that we were dating, something disconnected. 

You became angry. 

You did what you know how to do best: scream transphobic slurs and shove fake news about trans* people in your daughter’s face. You expected her to fall for it. You expected her to “yes daddy” you until you got what you wanted. 

Except this time, she did not. 

She spoke up against your hate and your bigotry. She tried to explain how I am not any different from any other human being, but all you did was yell over her with your bullshit. 

You would torture her for hours on end with all the transphobic hate you would throw my way through your phone calls with her. And I watched her deteriorate from your words. But it made her stronger than she has ever been. 

She listened to you spew your “holier than thou” quotes from the Bible and Ben Shapiro. But all you preach is hate and lies. I mean, what kind of father calls his daughter to scream about how she is dating a “faggot”? 

But, I have some questions for you. In what world does a woman dating a man, make her a lesbian? Why is it that you berate me by calling me “it”? Do you really think my life has less value than yours? 

No matter how you answer those questions, I want you to know something. No matter what you think, what you preach, or what you say, you hold absolutely no power over me or your daughter. 

In fact, I plan on asking her to marry me. Do I get your blessing, pops? Too bad it does not matter, I know she will say yes and I plan on making her the happiest woman alive. I know for a fact that is already more than you have ever done for her. 

I am a proud transgender man who is proud to be with your cisgender daughter. And the fact is: I am no less of a man because I am transgender and it is sad that someone has to tell you that. 

After all, “facts don’t care about your feelings.” – Ben Shapiro 

With Love, 

Your Transgender Future Son-In-Law

P.S. if you ever care to educate yourself, here is a good place to start: https://transequality.org/sites/default/files/docs/resources/QuestionableQuestions.pdf