Why I need feminism

I read an article about a month ago by Fox News contributor Suzanne Venker, entitled, “To be happy, we must admit women and men aren’t equal”.  Uh, what?  While many of my peers rolled their eyes and gave me that “what did you expect?” look when I told them about it, I still maintain that feminism is accessible to everyone, and transcends ideological and political boundaries.  However, the fact that a fellow woman could be so degrading to her own sex is frankly abhorrent, and for this reason, I will actually take up my allotted 500-800 words to discuss this piece.

As a quick synopsis, Ms. Venker bashes feminism for the manner in which it has allegedly catalyzed “mass confusion” rather than liberation.  She contends that gender is not a social construct, and that equality presupposes interchangeability of one thing for another, and on these grounds, men and women aren’t equal.  Pissed off yet?  Allow me to continue.

First, she states that feminism has created two major problems for society.  They are as follows:

1. Women postpone marriage indefinitely and move in and out of intense romantic relationships, or even live with their boyfriends for years at a time. Eventually, their biological clocks start ticking and many decide they better hurry up and get married to provide a stable home for their yet-to-be-born children. Trouble is, their boyfriend’s not willing to commit.

2. Marriage becomes a competitive sport. The complementary nature of marriage—in which two people work together, as equals, toward the same goal but with an appreciation for the qualities each gender brings to the table—has been obliterated. Today, husbands and wives are locked in a battle about whom does more on the home front and how they’re going to get everything done. That’s not a marriage. That’s war.

I’m sorry, I forgot that a woman who seeks more for her life than fulfilling her biological function of marrying by twenty, mothering by twenty-five is now “Playgirl” material.  And how exactly does this necessarily usher in her boyfriend’s unwillingness to commit?

In regards to her second point, I’m assuming that since it’s tough to figure out whether it’s Johnny’s or Sally’s turn to wash the dishes on Monday nights, feminism is a disaster.  Women shouldn’t have the opportunities to advance because, well, there’s laundry to be done.  And lest we forget about the “qualities each gender brings to the table”, because it’s totally okay to compartmentalize tasks based on genitalia.  That’s sound logic if I’ve ever heard it.

Perhaps the part that struck the greatest nerve with me was this assertion:  “Prior to the 1970s, people viewed gender roles as equally valuable. Many would argue women had the better end of the deal! It’s hard to claim women were oppressed in a nation in which men were expected to stand up when a lady enters the room or to lay down their lives to spare women life. When the Titanic went down in 1912, its sinking took 1,450 lives. Only 103 were women. One-hundred three.”

What a thought-provoking sentiment!  It’s definitely hard to argue that women were oppressed in a nation where, at the time that the Titanic went down in 1912, the following rules applied for American women:

1. Women did not have the right to vote

2. Women could not own property in their own name.

3. A woman had no legal right to the money she earned when she worked.

4. She could not divorce her husband without severe cause, and even then, she could not keep her children.

5. She could not bear witness in court.

6. She could not serve on a jury.

7. If tried, she was tried by an all-male jury.

8. She could not attend any major universities.

9. She could not use birth control.

10. It was legal for a husband to beat his wife, as the cane or rod he used was no larger in circumference than his thumb.

11. It was legal for a husband to brutally rape his wife.

But hey, at least men were expected to hold the door open for us.  Those sure were the days.

“The truth must be heard,” Venker asserts.  “Being equal in worth, or value, is not the same as being identical, interchangeable beings. Men and women may be capable of doing many of the same things, but that doesn’t mean they want to. That we don’t have more female CEOs or stay-at-home dads proves this in spades.”

Public Service Announcement:  You can’t say that men and women are equal in worth, but decry their mutual, EQUAL desire to reach their full potential.  How can you constrain their choices to compartmentalize them within the context of their prescribed gender roles, and tell them that that’s all they should want?  We don’t have more female CEO’s because of the skewed barriers women encounter in the workforce (whole other tangent).  And among men who have wives in the workforce, 32% stay home with their children—that’s up 6% from 2002, and that figure is steadily on the rise.  How’s that for interchangeability?

Venker wraps up her spiel by asserting that the battle of the sexes is over, and no one wins, because men and women are “equal, but different.”  Granted, men and women are different, but not in the manner that Ms. Venker advocates for.  In order to seek equality for the sexes, maybe we should stop being so damned preoccupied with gender roles, and start accepting people as they are.

Why do I need feminism?  Because there are people like Ms. Venker who just don’t get it.  There are those who believe that if my main goal in life isn’t to find a husband, there’s something fundamentally wrong with me, and that I’m less of a woman because of it.  There are those who will criticize me for being ballsy, a go-getter, career-oriented, ambitious.  For speaking my mind, living my politics, hell, for even writing this post.  I need feminism to remind me that the sky is the limit, that I am powerful, and that oppression somewhere is a threat to justice everywhere.  Like Venker, I believe that I should remember my place as a woman.  The difference is that because I am a feminist, I make that place for myself.

Related article:

http://queerguesscode.wordpress.com/2013/02/10/conservatives-want-their-made-up-gender-war-to-end/