Sex and the City: Friend or Foe?

Recently, TBS and E! have been playing re-runs of the popular HBO series Sex and the City. I’ve been watching the show in syndication on and off since high school, but lately I’ve become more aware of the show’s anti-feminist tendencies. While many critics of the show claim that it gives a glimpse into the lives of four strong and independent women, I find myself asking, are they really all that strong and independent? Part of me has grown to enjoy the characters because their humor and style can be fun, but another part of me rejects their thoughts and actions, and recognizes that they could be doing so much better for themselves.

Carrie Bradshaw, the show’s main character and narrator, is a 30-something ‘fashionista’ who writes a column and lives in New York City. Each episode of the show is centered on Carrie’s weekly column topic. Generally, Carrie’s columns focus on the quest for love in the big city. Sometimes they concentrate on specific things that play into dating or relationships, such as religion or ménages à trios, but for the most part they all circle back to the same idea: a woman needs to find a man in order to make her feel happy and truly whole.

But Carrie and her friends can’t possibly be thinking about this ALL the time, can they? Sadly, it seems that this notion is a major component of the show.

In the first season, Carrie meets ‘Mr. Big,’ a handsome, wealthy New Yorker who causes Carrie to fall head over heels. Personally I never appreciated Mr. Big’s sarcastic tone and I never found him to be attractive because of his looks or his charm, which I feel is phony and fleeting. Time and time again throughout the series, Big causes problems for Carrie and is never able to commit. Even in the first movie, he doesn’t make it to their wedding, causing Carrie to have yet another breakdown. But somehow, Carrie is eventually able to forgive him once again, and they end up getting married. Why is it that Carrie is never able to recognize that maybe Big isn’t the right person for her? Because she is blinded by the idea that she needs to fulfill her life as a woman by completing it with a man. And apparently any man will do, even if he doesn’t treat her the way she should be treated. I was happy with the movie ending while Carrie was still single and focusing on herself, but I’m not sure an ending like that would go over well with fans. The audience would have been outraged if Carrie didn’t get her ‘happy ending.’

And Carrie is not the only character on the show with shortcomings. In the season finale of the first season, two separate fortune-tellers claim that Charlotte will not get married in the future. She reacts as if she had been diagnosed with the plague. Charlotte feels like she has to get married because it’s been a part of her fairy-tale life plan for so long. Even though the fortune-tellers inform her that she will have a successful career as a single woman, she refuses to even consider it. Both Charlotte’s repulsion to the idea of such a lifestyle and Carrie’s obvious distaste for being single tell avid followers of the show that such a life should be frowned upon and avoided at all costs.

News flash: It’s okay to be single. It’s okay to make yourself happy.

If there is one character on the show that understands this the most, it’s Samantha. Samantha Jones is the character that many people would consider to be the ‘slut’ of the show. She sleeps around and rejects monogamy. ‘Slut’ or not, Samantha is proud of her open sexuality and is arguably the most independent woman on the show. In one episode, Samantha tells a love interest, “I do love you, Richard – but I love me more.” But Samantha is still not completely innocent when it comes to anti-feminist tendencies on the show. In an episode called “The Drought,” Samantha and Carrie have this conversation about farting in front of a male significant other:

Carrie: I farted.

Samantha: Then move your mat away.

Carrie: Not, now, I did it in front of Big.

Samantha: Big mistake.

Carrie: You think? It wasn’t a choice. I’m human. It happened.

Samantha: No, honey, you’re a woman, and men don’t like women to be human. We aren’t supposed to fart, douche, use tampons or have hair in places we shouldn’t.

As I watched this discourse, I laughed at Samantha’s last comment, feeling as though I sensed a bit of sarcasm, but then I realized, she was being serious. She was honestly trying to convince Carrie that this was a big mistake.

It’s like Carrie says; she’s only human. FARTS HAPPEN. Even though in most social settings they are frowned upon, they are seen as even more unfavorable when they come from women. Even women look down on other women who fart when they themselves fart everyday.

As for Miranda, I have to say she is my favorite character on the show. She’s sassy, smart and sarcastic, and I love it. Miranda is the most career-focused and levelheaded of the foursome. Though she too is often caught up in the sometimes-frantic search for a man, Miranda always appears to keep a good sense of humor about her situation. But, many of the show’s viewers would not consider Miranda their favorite character. Maybe she’s a bit too cynical, or not ‘girly’ enough, or maybe too many people sense that she doesn’t exactly feel as though she needs a man to make her whole.

I can’t promise that I will never watch Sex and the City again. I still find the show to be entertaining and funny, and if it’s on cable, I’ll probably flip to it; however, this doesn’t change the fact that I am becoming more and more aware of its often negative portrayal of women’s issues. As new audiences begin to watch the show in syndication , I only hope that they will become aware themselves.

-Lauranium