My freshman year when I first started thinking about where I wanted to live my sophomore year I was so excited. I would have my own room, be able to cook in a kitchen, and have a living space. It sounded like a dream. I visited a complex with my friend from high school and we agreed to sign the lease. A week later she dropped out of school entirely and I was left anxious over what to do.
That night as I was doom scrolling on Instagram I saw a post that would change my life: Early RA Applications due tonight. I called my mom and told her that I was considering applying and she told me to go for it. She told me what she had been telling me my whole life, “Everything happens for a reason.” That night I submitted my application. Soon after submitting my application, I interviewed, and next thing I knew I got hired to be a Resident Advisor. I was so excited.
Obviously, being an RA is not a glamourous job. The weekend 2 AM shifts can feel like forever, sometimes you just want to be alone but a resident needs to talk to you, and the feeling that you are always on the job can leave you feeling drained even if you’ve just slept for 10 hours. There are times when this job left me feeling anxious and feeling alone.
Mental health in college has only recently become a topic that people are willing to talk about, but even then, so many people are unwilling to go and ask for help. That is why one of the first things I always share when meeting my residents is that I am in therapy and have admitted in the past that I have needed help, and that it’s okay to get help. I see firsthand the toll that mental health can take on college students and there is this belief that those that are struggling can work through their issues alone. I have seen people drop out of school, come to me crying because they are struggling with roommate issues, seen residents lose a friend because of an unexpected death, have someone come and talk to me because they failed their first test, and so many other situations that I never would have expected.
It’s important to remember that as an RA, we are allowed to have issues too. We are allowed to cry and be overwhelmed because of school. We are allowed to take a night off and watch a movie while practicing some self-care. That does not mean we care less or like our job less.
I’ll be the first to say that while this job has had some moments where I wonder if I can keep doing it, it also provides moments that I will remember for the rest of my life. I was fortunate enough to meet the first person to fully accept me for me, and someone I consider a best friend. I will never forget the 3 AM dance sessions we had to songs like “Go Your Own Way” from High School Musical 2 or seeing my Hall Director do the “Cotton-Eyed Joe” for 15 minutes. I’ll never forget our last night together as a staff we watched Wendy Wu Homecoming Warrior and The Cheetah Girls 2.
Sometimes I think that I bring up being an RA too much in my conversations, but then I consider the fact that being an RA has become a big part of my life and has shaped me into the young woman I am today, and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.
ShoutOut! James Madison University 