Last September, my best friend tragically lost her father to suicide. You never really expect something like this to happen to someone you know, and as someone who has never really experienced death first-hand, this experience was eye-opening to say the least. For me, it unlocked a new realm of passion for mental health, and specifically, men’s mental health. Since September is Suicide Prevention Month, I figured that it would be the perfect opportunity to spread awareness about a topic that is especially personal to me.
First, let’s talk statistics. According to Mental Health America, in the United States, four times as many men die by suicide compared to women. In a 2020 survey, Forbes found that 51.2% of U.S. females received mental health care, while only 37.4% of men received mental health care. About 1 in 10 men suffer with anxiety and/or depression, but only half of men receive treatment for their illness.
Kevin Simon, a psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School found that “men tend to not seek services because they’re just not even fully aware of the emotions they’re having.” From a young age, men are taught to suppress their emotions rather than talk about them, so there is a severe lack of education and awareness about mental health services and the benefits of therapy.
While it’s commonly assumed that the patriarchy primarily benefits men, it is important to recognize that the patriarchy also establishes societal norms that govern the behavior of both men and women. Consequently, men often feel apprehensive when it comes to expressing emotions or seeking help for mental health issues. This apprehension is not baseless, because pervasive patriarchal attitudes continue to shape people’s perspectives, whether consciously or not. When men do reveal their emotions, it can cause discomfort in others who struggle to respond appropriately. Instead of engaging in the uncomfortable but necessary conversation to get a man the help they need, many people tend to offer dismissive responses like, “you’ll get through it” or “toughen up,” which perpetuates harmful stereotypes surrounding men’s mental health. Unfortunately, a situation similar to this happened to my best friend’s dad. Days before he made the decision to take his own life, he sought out help from a mental health provider, who ultimately brushed off his feelings and sent him on his way with little to no help. The provider’s decision to send him away without professional help from a therapist cost him his life.
The true concept of feminism is interested in dismantling this long-standing system of patriarchy, which is why the topic of men’s mental health is extremely important for us to talk about on this platform. At the end of the day, men are human beings too and have human emotions such as stress, anxiety, sadness, and anger just the same as any one else, except they have been taught by a patriarchal society to express these emotions in a specific and harmful way.
While feminist ideals can be used to inspire or develop other social movements, feminism alone is not sufficient enough to aid in the detrimental effects of the patriarchy. Women cannot simultaneously aid in the destruction of the patriarchy while still being subject to its doctrine. This is why it’s essential for men to be at the forefront of change and awareness of men’s mental health, as their voices consequently hold more weight and garner more respect among their peers.
Ultimately, the message I am trying to send is that suicide is preventable, especially with the spread of essential information. We as a society have to be open to the vulnerability of men and their emotions in order to create safe spaces for them to talk through what they are feeling.
Here are a few extra resources if you or someone you know needs help.
ShoutOut! James Madison University 
Very well said. Gender stereotypes and societal roles play a key part in breaking down the components of the patriarchy and the damage this system has clearly done to not only women but men as well. If young boys and men are continuously taught and expected in society to suppress their emotions, then their individuality will continue to be negatively affected.
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Men’s mental health is a topic that absolutely deserves to be amplified and regarded with a level of importance that we often do not afford it. Additionally, in relation to this topic, I find it interesting how some men often use this argument in specific instances. Often times these are men who, when we bring up issues pertaining to women and their mental health, will combat this and say “well, what about men’s mental health?” And I believe it important to note that mental health as a whole should be discussed in terms of every gender, socioeconomic standing, sexuality, etc., because there are unique ways that it individually impacts individuals and how their identity plays a key role in that. But when people or men only bring up men’s mental health to try and dismiss the plight of women or nonbinary folks, it shows how some people only care when it’s in that attempt to dismiss. As someone who has known men who have passed due to mental health, I believe it to be of the utmost importance to engage in conversations like these to stress the de-stigmatization and accessibility of mental health and resources pertaining to it.
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