Hot & Independent Girl Summer: Season 21, Episode 1

With the weather getting warmer, and the notorious couples taking their beach pics, a single girl like me cannot help to compare. Compare to the other girls, their lives, and more specifically, what they are doing right.

There are countless Rom Com’s and love songs that claim to depict what dating life is like. But, coming from a single college girl in 2022, they are all terribly wrong.  I am here to enlighten you on the harsh truth of the dating world. 

Before I begin, this is not a sob story about how no boys are interested in dating me. Rather, it is the reality that while hook-up culture can be fun, it is not built to last in the long run. While some might get immediate validation from going home with that cute boy from the bar, after a while it is okay to not want to do that anymore. 

After a long conflict with myself, not knowing why I was not feeling the same after talking to these random boys who showed interest, I realized it is because I have matured and no longer want those random hookups. While my inner feminist wants to empower others to go out and meet those boys who will show them attention, I cannot help but hold myself back. I talked to my roommate and we finally put to words the mutual feelings we felt, why go home with this boy to know that tomorrow morning you will just be something for them to brag about and you will be left in the dust.

Now, while I might be in a situationship currently, I also am a realist. I know that I am going thousands of miles away this summer to study abroad, and nothing will be coming from this situation anytime soon. With that, I was forced to switch to a new mentality, for the sake of my feelings and overall well-being.

As cliche as it sounds, it will come once you stop looking for it. That being said, I have taken a new approach to life as a whole: finding my independence. While that sounds contrary to wanting a significant other, allow me to explain. 

Prior to finding a person that will become, if not close to, the second most important in your life, you need to realize that you are the priority. Understanding that sometimes you need to do things for yourself, and not servantly be there for others, is a big step in taking care of yourself. 

Personally, a big part of becoming independent is learning to make decisions on my own. While my best friends are a big part of my life, I frequently find myself turning to them for advice which sometimes can be good, but other times will lead to me overthinking and clouding my judgment.

Taking on this new mentality, I am hopeful for this coming summer and honestly my last year of college. While it does not seem like a big change in the grand scheme of things, I think it is a big part of becoming an adult post-college. Learning to live on your own and prioritize your needs when necessary. 

To the readers, this was not a blog to make you re-think your decisions within your own life. Instead, keep this in the back of your mind in case you do have that one-night stand that just does not sit right. Understand that you are not alone, and it is okay to not want to crave validation from men 24/7. Like I do, keep reminding yourself, who needs a man when I’ve got me, myself, and I?