Let’s talk about how internalized misogyny often starts at home, and is usually heavily influenced by our mothers, grandmothers, and other female influences. (Even the “good” ones). These sexist attitudes, myths, and behaviors are impacting both young girls and boys in a widespread fashion.
The degree of sexism in a mother is significantly linked to influencing that trait in her daughters and sons much more so than a father figure, according to a 2011 study. This author concluded, “a shift in parents’ prejudices, particularly moms, could make a real difference in “reducing sexism and preventing gender-based violence.”
Why are you dressed up, are you trying to impress a boy?
That is a man’s job.
If a boy is mean or teases you, he has a crush on you.
Wearing dark makeup and reveling clothes will give boys the wrong impression about you.
Being catcalled on the street is a compliment, that means you look attractive.
Red nail polish is a “grown up” color.
That is not very ladylike of you!
Doing that dance or sticking your tongue out in selfies is suggestive.
You need to learn to cook so you can keep a husband.
Your father has the final decision in this house.
…Unfortunately the quotes above are only a small representation of examples showing sexist parenting that may have impacted our developing minds and attitudes. I know I am not alone in this, so please leave comments of other examples you (or people you know) may have experienced.
Sexism is passed down generationally and it also has to do with socioeconomic and cultural influences. We need to talk about and break this toxic cycle of harmful behaviors. Often times, the female figures in our lives are coming from a place of good intention when they say these things and do not understand how damaging and negatively impactful they can be.
Hey moms, instead of forcing your daughters to dress “modestly” to “protect themselves,” why don’t you start teaching your sons about consent and respect. Don’t tell your female children they need to wear more clothes when male family members are visiting, those people should not even be in your home in that is a concern you have! Stop the sexualizing and shaming dyed hair, piercings, makeup, and other forms of self expression.
Let’s get one thing straight: a women’s place in the kitchen is not to please any man. It is to provide herself enjoyment and nutrition.
Check our these past ShoutOut posts for further thoughts and information on this topic…
04/01/18 @StandByShe — CASUAL MISOGYNY
04/24/11 @Ecstanton– “NO ONE CARES ABOUT MISOGYNY, BRING ON THE BIDDIES”