Hi friends, welcome to my first ShoutOut post! In honor of last week being Bisexual Awareness Week, which ended with Saturday being Bisexual Visibility Day I wanted to discuss my experiences as a middle sexuality and bisexual person. What I mean by middle sexuality is that I am in the middle of the sexuality spectrum with the extremes being straight or gay. Due to many harmful stereotypes, it is difficult to get recognition both in the LGBTQ+ community and outside of it. The same can be said for other middle sexualities like Pansexuality.
Unfortunately, being aware of these issues does not make it any easier for me. I know that I am bisexual and that is valid but I’ve come to notice that I still feel like an outsider in certain settings involving the LGBTQ+ community. Most of the time I feel like the straight person in the room if I acknowledge the attractiveness of a man around a group of mostly lesbians. The vibe in a room turns different, there may be some talk of “okay, but like what about girls?” It gets a bit irritating as I feel like I have to constantly remind others that yes I still like girls too, I promise. In some of these situations I might have even said something like “wow, she’s incredible and I’m feeling super gay right now,” maybe moments earlier.
A lot of that fear of being perceived as ‘too straight’ lies in more misogynistic stereotypes that the linked article explains extremely well. Basically, if you identify as a woman it is assumed that you are straight and just looking for attention but if you identify as a man then you are just secretly gay. It is all men-centric and that is not at all true for me. I experience my bisexuality in a fluctuating way, sometimes I have a stronger preference for men, other times it is women, and sometimes I am mostly attracted to gender nonconforming individuals. That fluctuation can happen week to week, day to day, or even hour to hour. Since my orientation is in such a fluid state it feels extremely dismissive to have to be on the defensive every time I happen to be attracted to a man.
I guess this post is a loud way of saying I’m going to keep doing me, and that these stereotypes and awkward situations are not going to stop me from expressing myself. I hope this gives you a taste of who I am. Also, if you find yourself pushing any of these stereotypes onto other people who belong on the middle sexuality spectrum, please STOP. So until next time, thank you for reading!
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