Last night I went to an event titled, Too Controversial for Class: Why Relationships Fail Dating, Marriage, and Divorce. I would first like to say that these kind of events are important, because it gives students a chance to talk about things that impact them on the daily. Also students get to gain insight from the professors and know them on a more personal level. I was excited to go to this event, because let me tell you my love life is, well for lack of a better term, a hot mess. I first wanted to go to have my questions answered and trust me I was given blunt answers about my relationship, but I came out of the event with praises and critiques.
I would first like to say that I think the points they brought up had value; the two topics we specifically discussed was the aspect of being afraid to be alone, and why can’t females and males be just friends. Beyond these two topics, there was a stream of questions about relationships. I would like to take this time to analyze is the questions and the responses to the questions. Within the discussion, a female asked about orgasms and if it is okay that the woman doesn’t always get an orgasm during sex. First I commend the student for being so bold, but within her question a lot of other questions remain. One of the presenters, asked well what does this mean for the man, why do we assume men always orgasm and then furthermore assume men are always ready to go. I thought that was a great point to raise because it highlights male hypersexuality presented in our society. Another point was raised in that we have to stop thinking of sex as a race to a goal, but more of a journey.
While the presenters were right on point with their reflections with this question, I still do have a few critiques. Every time a person would ask a question about a relationship, the presenters would equate their relationship to being a hetereosexual one. For example, a woman asked how do you move on if someone cheats on you, the presenters instantly went into the man cheating, but the woman at first didn’t declare the sex of her partner. This was evident in many other conversations. Also within the conversation of male and females just being friends, there was no highlight on being friends with someone who could never be attracted to you. My best friend was gay and I valued that relationship heavily.
I get the message that they were trying to present, about sexual desire, and the negative impact media has on society which makes it difficult to just be friends. I just wished the conversation wasn’t so heteronormative. There was one time, when one of the presenters said to a female, something along of the lines of not being constricted to just liking the opposite sex. Like I said there was highlights within this presentation, but there’s always ways in which to approve. I do appreciate that I am able to have these conversations in college with my peers, because this opportunity would never be offered in a class.