Why do some men have insecurities of successful women?

The other day while watching the always entertaining and addictive show, “Sex and the City,” I was inspired to write about men’s intimidation of successful women.

During the episode, Carrie (the main character) was going through a rough patch with her significant other simply because her career was successful and his wasn’t. At the end of the episode, he ended the relationship because of his insecurities of Carrie’s success.

After watching that show, it got me thinking. Why do some men feel intimidated or emasculated when they are surrounded by women whose career paths or ambitious are much brighter than theirs? Is it typical jealousy? Or is it because of the societal norms that have framed women’s roles within their minds?

I’m sure for many men, a successful and driven woman is attractive, but are they okay with not being the stereotypical “bread winner?” Do they feel threatened if their partner has the better paying job, works more, has more education, or is generally more prosperous?

This topic definitely surrounds relationships, men and women in the work place, but also women in the military. The same stereotypical thought of a female’s role being the protected and taken care of and men being the protectors and leaders, is still clung to by individuals. Today, women are allowed in combat roles, meaning they are no longer the hypothetical “protected.” Men and women are equally protecting and being protected, which I feel sets the bar higher for changing women’s roles and continues the process of riding the stereotypical, subordinate ones.

From personal conversations with males the same age as me, it is still evident that men are intimidated by women who are more successful than they are. They also still view their role in a heterosexual relationship, as if they were in the 50’s, instead of the 21st century.

What I am strongly passionate about is equality across the spectrum. Meaning the world realizes men and women ARE equal in their abilities. Women CAN be in combat roles, just like men. Women CAN be the bread winners of a family. Women CAN have a successful career and still tend to their maternal instincts. Women CAN do the same as men, because we ARE equal.

This equality has a similar premise of race; we preach not to judge someone by their ethnicity, or by the color of their skin, so why judge people by their gender or sex? Of course I realize that women and men’s biological makeup are altered in order for our body’s to accomplish different things. However, our minds are made of the same juices. To those who simply state men and women are unequal because of our hormone differences; they forget that men too have that same female hormone (estrogen) flowing through their veins, just at a lesser dosage.

My point of all this?  Why can’t women be successful and participate on the same playing field as men? Besides being able to give birth, what makes women so incredibly different in our abilities to do the same things men are expected to do or accomplish in our society? The thing is; there isn’t anything.

Thanks to the “Women’s Rights News” Facebook page, I ran across this quote that goes perfectly with my point:

From Women's Rights News
From Women’s Rights News

I think the world needs awake up call for their perceptions of a woman’s ability and strength. Strength is a diverse concept that can be seen abstractly and concretely, and it certainly is not limited to one sex over the other.

When a man feels insecure about a woman’s success or ambition, I don’t feel pity. If anything, I feel sorry for the fact that he mentally cannot accept or believe in equality and his world is only determined by what society claims it should be.

With that being said, what do you think about men’s insecurities towards successful women? I would love to hear your opinion on this topic.

4 thoughts on “Why do some men have insecurities of successful women?

  1. This is an excellent post and a very current issue that we will begin to face as we go into our future careers after college. I think that men are afraid of women who are more successful then them as we are in a male-dominated society. But we have come a very long way. As you brought up in the 1950’s women still did not have very good jobs, but now women are CEO’s and are sometimes making more then their male coworkers. I think that it will just take time and that in another 50 years (hopefully less) men will not be afraid of women who make more then them, and it will become a norm that some women make more then their male partner or husband. I also liked that you noted how women can now fight in combat and that this makes men fear women, as women can fight them back and men are no longer capable of defending a damsel in distress. How do you think other than time and understanding that men will not be scared of women who make more money then them? Good job thanks for sharing this post.


  2. Thanks for reading SarahStar77! I agree with you that one of the reasons why men feel insecure around successful women is because of our male dominated society. I also agree with you that women have made much progress in the world of success! And many have already succeeded in the past, but just never got recognized. I personally think that the more driven, ambitious and successful women men are surrounded by, the more they’re just going to have to get over their insecurities and realize it is a female AND male dominated society; not one over the other.


  3. I do believe that even when men tell their female partners they do not feel intimidated by their career or financial success, deep inside their minds they feel like they are not good enough to have them as life partners if they are not the ones with the highest paycheck. I have been having some trouble in my marriage because I have always made more money than him and grown more in my professional career, my husband has always mentioned how gender roles are not strict for him and feels proud of having me as a wife, but in reality he will be constantly angry without telling me the real reason but often happens shortly after I share good news related to work with him… It is as if they wanted us to fail just to prevail as mighty powerful leaders of the household


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