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Turn Around and Get Your Feminist On

Good Evening wonderful people of the internet!

Since I’m new here I thought you all should know something about me. I LOVE to dance. I love it. I’m not trained in any way, in fact, I’m more of the dancing down the isle of a store that starts playing a song I like, type of dancer. As someone who frequents the dance floor and loves to break it down, there is something I need to address. Grinding. Now I am not going to post about how it’s terrible and needs to be abolished, don’t stress. I just think it needs to be modified, specifically regarding consent.

Many of us are familiar with the throwback hit Flap Your Wings by Nelly or more recently F*cking Problems by A$AP Rocky which references the first song. Inspired by that tune- I’m proposing a new dance, the “Turn Around and Get Your Feminist On”.

It’s a familiar scene. You hit the bar/club/house party/anywhere with a dance floor and your favorite song comes on. You make your way to the dance floor, drawn by the pumping rhythm. You see a couple friends and you all move to the beat, smiling, laughing, and enjoying yourselves. Suddenly, you have a little company on your back side. Yup, someone has latched on to your booty and initiated a dance with you. Did you want to dance with them? Do you know their name? Who is this mysterious booty latcher?! I’ve participated in and seen various scenarios like this and people tend to either stay in the dance, walk away, or grab a friend to pull them away. Here are the steps to follow my “dance” of choice: Turn Around and Get Your Feminism On.

– You feel someone grinding up behind you.

– Turn around.

– Put your hand out (initiating a hand shake) and say: Hi, I’m ______ what’s your name?

– Watch as they confusingly and awkwardly introduce themselves.

– Then follow up with a: Nice to meet you ______, if you would like to dance with me here is your opportunity to ask.

– Once they ask, it is up to you on how you proceed. If you want to dance with them, go ahead! If not, don’t!

I have been doing this every time someone sneak attacks me from the back for about a year and overall I must say, most of the people didn’t mean to ignore getting my consent, it’s just a norm they follow. Once I Turn Around and Get My Feminist On, I break the ice and the norm and establish a more meaningful interaction. I’ve even made some friends. Not to mention, I have avoided many uncomfortable dance situations I didn’t want to be a part of in the first place.

Join me! Before you drop down and get your eagle on with someone you might not want to dance with, Stand Up and Get Your Feminist On! What do you think? Would you try it? Have you tried it? Comment and let me know! Let’s start a movement my beautiful people of JMU!


6 Responses to “Turn Around and Get Your Feminist On”

  1. mscherhorowitz

    I really love this idea! Guys so often just carry on doing really sexist/misogynistic things because they simply haven’t been made aware that it’s not okay. Now with this advice I can resist the urge to hit strangers making unsolicited advances on me and instead raise their awareness of feminism. Rock on!


  2. cpowell92

    This is probably one of the best ideas I have heard in a while!! I absolutely love it and want to definitely try it! It is insane how people (not just guys) have developed the habit of randomly going up to someone and just grinding all up in their personal space. I never really thought about it much before this post because it was just normal (which is so sad!!) Why is there no consent for dancing and why do people feel the right to just go up and invade someone’s personal space? If this happened even twenty some years ago it would be very socially unacceptable. It needs to be that way again! Also! I don’t know why I never thought to actually have a conversation with the person who is getting that close to me. Ha! That only makes sense right??


    • tohellwithsugarandspice

      YES! Sometimes I think about how awkward “grinding” would be in any other situation it makes me giggle but it also makes me realize how weird it is that we don’t chat with the person we are getting pretty intimate with. Best of luck in your feminist dancing endeavors!


  3. lfleetwood

    Oh the friend method…this is absolutely fantastic that you have already been doing this for a year and want everyone to join in. It amazes me that I’ve never even considered turning around! There have been days when men have asked me to dance, and hey, sometimes I’m really in the mood. But often I’m just there to be with my friends and I would rather not have a mystery man (or woman) grinding up behind me while I’m just trying to have a good time sans random strangers. I am definitely keeping this in mind for the future, no matter how loud the music is, or how awkward the situation becomes. I hope this catches on!


    • tohellwithsugarandspice

      LOVE. IT. I’m hoping to make a movement here! It can start now (or already have started this weekend!). Dancing with randos can be fun and I always think people should enjoy themselves- but it would be nice to be asked 🙂 Go on with your bad feminist self now!



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