Sitting on my parent’s bed watching Entertainment Tonight with my mom I rejoiced in correctly guessing the mystery Star Birthday of the night. Impressed, my mom asked how I knew, and I proudly explained there was a repeating pattern between the three choices that went backwards starting at three. She clapped for me as I jumped up and down in my Winnie the Pooh footed pajamas.
I settled down and we went back to watching, the glorious blonde host at the time gush over early 90’s starlets in shows like Beverly Hills 90210, Bay Watch and ER. Each one praised for their beautiful faces, and beautiful hair, and beautiful bodies, and beautiful smiles, and beautiful eyes, and beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful. I barely knew how to add but if you gave me crayons I could draw you exactly what it meant to be gorgeous. In thinking of this, I was struck with a revelation and in the most regretful moment of my lifetime, I turned to my mom and asked why she didn’t look like the women on the TV.
As soon as the words lift my lips I could see them shatter across her weatherworn 9-to-5 face. Her reaction changed in a way I had not seen before and couldn’t put into words until years later. It was brokenhearted shame, humiliation in the face of an innocent question. It was every person’s worst realization manifest behind the seconds, minutes, hours we spend to make ourselves presentable to the public and confident in our appearances and ourselves.
That moment stretched on like nails on a chalkboard and is forever seared in the recesses of my memory. She stared into my eyes and recognized, smiled and simply said we’re all different and beautiful in our own ways.
Like anyone who has memories that make them shutter with unease, I’ve tried my best to suppress its resurgence. Recently though, I was reminded of the memory, but this time accompanied with a new feeling that has come from fully realizing the implications and destructive results of socialized beauty on our culture: outrage.
On Sunday, my house watched the Emmy Awards with glee as our favorite TV show, Breaking Bad, won Best Drama and our favorite badass heroine Anna Gunn won Best Supporting Actress in a Drama for her role as Skyler White in the show. Having watched the landmark drama together since freshman year, it was a capstone moment only to soon be followed by the show’s final conclusion in a few short days (4 but I’m not counting).
But just like any good party, there’s someone around to spoil the fun for a few… in this case, for me. Yesterday I was on TMZ only to get sucked into a sponsored post from toofab.com about Gunn.
“Breaking Bad” Star Anna Gunn Explains “Puffed Up” On-Screen Face
My immediate reaction had more expletives but could roughly be translated to, “are you kidding me?”
I read the commentary with mild shock that someone would take the time, or have the gall to ask why she looked different in the show to Sunday. What sent me over the edge was their accompanying photo gallery of, “Stars who’ve battle weight criticism,” which included other mainstream stars who’ve been targets of media coverage on their personal appearance.
In this news rich world we live in, what message are we sending when we publicly display every public figure’s Before&After picture on TV and print before their accomplishments? Also why is it typically focused on women so that there’s a social pressure to look, young, white, blonde and thin? Why aren’t these writers spending more time covering real stories, like what’s happening in Kenya and the mall massacre, our own government shutdown, or hell, anything that’s not getting as much coverage as it should? I know these writers aren’t paid to write about it, but that doesn’t mean they have to perpetuate the same junk that’s dragging our attention and culture down the drain!
I’m struck by a quote made in the HBO show The Newsroom from fictional gossip magazine reporter Nina Howard: “No little girl dreams of being a gossip columnist, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still do some good in the world when they are one.”
I wish we could stop being lazy with our news and out every star whose gained a few or made a bad decision. Where’s the social good in the world? Where are the stories of the public figures who are volunteering at a food bank, shelter, charity, anything? If little five-year-old me had watched Entertainment Tonight and seen stories of what philanthropic acts stars were doing with their time, what do you think I would’ve been able to draw with my crayons? What effect would watching that kind of news have on our society? Instead of being ashamed for being human and having different sizes and shapes, would we be ashamed for being selfish for not going to volunteer at the SPCA instead?
Next week I’ll share a bit more of my family history with oppressive beauty standards, and I’ll introduce you all to an artist who’s been exploring the consequences of our socialized internalization of beauty.
In the mean time, please comment your thoughts and experiences. Do you think the news, no matter how soft, should have a better social agenda/consciousness? What about the media’s projections of hegemonic beauty?
ShoutOut! James Madison University 
I completely agree that the media shapes an image of hegemonic beauty and uses opposing images to reinforce that standard. The treatment of Kim Kardashian weight was horrible this summer (the woman is having a baby- of course she is going to gain some weight!) But they would much rather put her body in the front of the issues and bury a feel good story in the back. I would love if pop culture media would embrace the good celebrities do. When I find out they give back to their communities it makes me see them as a person who is more beautiful than any red carpet image.
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