I know you are, but what am I?

When did the word feminist come with so many negative connotations? When I asked my roommates what they thought of when they heard the word feminist they stated almost immediately  ‘bitch’ and ‘opinionated’, one of them even went on to say, ‘as strange as this is, I even think white’. I had always been hesitant to claim that I was a feminist, I liked to say I was an ‘equalist’ a word I coined to portray that I felt as though by saying feminist, it is implied that women are different and separate from men. I also felt that stating I was a feminist would turn people away because, like previously stated, many believe that the term implied bitch and opinionated.

What turns women off from claiming they are feminist? To me, being feminist means understanding that women are equal in all aspects to men and anything a woman does should not be reprimanded, excused or labeled because she is a woman. Katy Perry was once quoted saying “I am not a feminist, but I do believe in the strength of women”……i’m sorry, but what?? That’s like claiming ‘I am not a vegetarian, but I don’t eat meat’. They weren’t kidding when they said we live in a world of contradictions.

I think women are afraid to claim that they are feminist for a couple of reasons.

The Stereotype

Women are socialized to believe that being a feminist is an extremist ideal that comes with hairy legs, and aggressive attitudes that get you ostracized from normal social activity. By being a feminist, you are automatically seen as unattractive and unappealing to men. You are seen as a ‘hater’, who holds a double standard when it comes to what is ‘right’ and ‘okay’ for men and women. You hold women to a higher standard than men, thus you are seen as hypocritical for claiming that women are not less than men but in fact believe that vice-versa is true.

 
Other feminists 

When a women claims she is a feminist, every one of her actions from there on after is measured up to this claim by other feminists. If a women claims she is a feminist, and then comes back with a cup size two times bigger than a couple of months ago, her actions and words seem somewhat confusing. Prime example – Stephanie Meyer, author of the Twilight Series. Meyer claimed that she was a feminist in an interview but has received a bit of criticism about the claim. Many state that her main character in the series does not embody a strong, independent, intelligent woman (the last adjective I may have inserted as my own personal opinion). But if Meyer wants to stand up and claim she is a feminist, shouldn’t we let her?

Ignorance

There was never a course in elementary school, middle school or high school that EVER brought up the term feminism. I feel like when we learned about the women’s suffrage movement, or even the civil rights movement, it might have served as a good time to plug feminism. If we are unable to define the term, we can’t align our self with the term. Many men and women probably would not be able to define the term, nor name any feminists or feminist movements. So if we are in the dark about the concept, can we really be blamed for our lack of vindication for the concept?

A lot of the fear from standing behind this word I believe stems from this last reason; we are not being educated about the term. It’s much like when young children ask their parents where babies come from, the answer lies solely in what the parent believes their child should know, and what they’re comfortable telling them. If we are expected to learn and research about feminism on our own, the answer will lie solely in where we seek it out.

As women, if we don’t support each other in either embracing the concept or embracing the label, then it would be unfair to expect the movement to grow and spread. Feminism is not an elite club where membership is only granted to those who are brave enough to claim independence, a vast knowledge in the movement, and the gutso to rave about the injustices women are forced to suffer through. Feminism should be a club that is open to anyone who believes that a person should not be judged, ostracized, or deemed inferior because of their sex. Membership should be granted to anyone who is willing to join – if this is the mentality that is advertised to both women and men, perhaps the club would not be frantically promoting and pushing for membership, and instead would become a thriving well-recognized association.