There’s No Such Thing as a Perfect Feminist

I have no idea when my feminist ways started, but I know that they have been amped up recently due to my heavy involvement with other feminist minds.  Now that little feminist inside of me has gotten louder than ever, reminding me every day that I have the responsibility to stand up to acts of inequality.  I realize that this is not my responsibility alone, but as my awareness of feminist issues grows so does the need to express my voice.  I can no longer sit and swallow the misogynist and patriarchal comments that spew from the unenlightened minds.  Yet, after a couple of failed attempts I realize that approaching people in this way just proves their idea of the angry feminist.  Now, I try to be more diplomatic with my comments this way I appease both my inner feminist and I do not alienate my friends.    This has just reminded me that there is no such thing as the perfect feminist.

We all strive to be the best that we can be making sure we are aware of what we say, how we say it, and our everyday actions.  We are not perfect though, we all slip up sometimes letting slip a “you guys” or participating in slut shaming.  The most important thing, I have found, is having someone to be your fellow feminist buddy.  This person is the one who calls you out every time you do something that reinforces the patriarchal structure.  It is not meant to be hostile, or mean, or rude, just a reminder that as easy as it is to slide down the slope it is just as easy to climb right back up.

I know that I have benefited greatly from having my feminist buddy, Ladychaotica21.  We often find ourselves in Starbucks having conversations that stem from feminism, but range to classes to economics to fashion.  It was during one of these times that she called me out, in the midst of one of our conversations I happened to mention why I prefer living with guys.  I said that while guys may not be the cleanest at least they are not as bitchy, catty, and filled with drama as girls.  That is when she put me on the spot, saying that those over-generalizations are part of the patriarchal problem that women have to deal with every day.  On top of that she said that that view of other women as “bitchy” divides women leaving us vulnerable to the patriarchal structure, alienating us from each other, and preventing us from joining together.

After she said that I could only sit there gob smacked, thinking damn she is absolutely right.  I am always the one to remind people of their anti-feminist tendencies and here I am being called out for mine.  Yes, it was a shock, but it was also a reminder that a lot of the things that we have to fight against are so often done unconsciously.  These ideas are so ingrained into our culture that we perpetuate them without even realizing it.  We need each other to call each other out to remind us that we are not perfect, but we can correct our actions every day.  Change does not happen overnight it is something that has to be striven for every single day, and unless we recognize the flaws within ourselves it is never going to happen.  If it was easy we would already be living in an equal world.

So, tell me readers when have you been called out?  Have you had to call out one of your friends?  Tell me about the times when you realized that you were not the perfect feminist.  I want to hear about it in the comments!