A Shady Situation

Ever since my fellow blogger jgrand posted ‘Idealism and Practicality’ I have been struggling with my love for rap music. As he wrote, “What does a feminist do when faced with these issues? Is it better to reject all media with elements of sexism then to write off the flaws as ‘just part of life?'” After weeks of debating this issue, I still don’t have an answer.

I live downtown and don’t have a car, so I walk several miles every week, back and forth to work and class. The only thing that keeps this from being completely unbearable is my itouch – best. purchase. ever. I have a lot of great music – over 10 hours of the Pixies and 20 of Jack White – but more often than not, I need something a little more energetic to get my day started. So here’s the part when I let you in a deep, dark secret – Eminem is a favorite choice, Mac Miller is a real close second. And if I am super feisty, Lil Wayne or Cyprus Hill gets played. Am I just a girl enjoying upbeat music with her morning coffee or a bad feminist?

As much as I love these artists, I always feel a little guilty for listening to them, which is why I always turn down the volume once I reach the corner of Mason and Grattan Street. I don’t want anyone on campus to know the girl who loudly proclaims herself as a liberal feminist is listening to the 8 Mile soundtrack. I guess you could say I am a closet listener, although my little sisters (ages 18, 16, and 12) can spit every rhyme as fast as I can, a past-time we often enjoy during car rides together.

Maybe it’s the fact that my little sisters are listening that has made me ultra-aware lately of what Eminem is actually saying. Even though I have been singing along since middle school, I haven’t actually been listening. In case you aren’t a fan, here’s a couple of examples from his music that I find especially problematic.

“Don’t put out, i’ll put you out, won’t get out, i’ll push you out
Puss blew out, poppin’ shit, wouldn’t piss on fire to put you out, Am I too nice, buy you ice, bitch if you died, I wouldn’t buy you life” – Superman

And from the same song:

“Put anthrax on a tampon and slap you til you can’t stand”

Aside from the blatant sexism in these quotes, one can’t ignore the potential for violence that also exists here. Which is at an even worse level on his 2010 Recovery Album. Who could forget this gem?

“If you ever try to fuckin’ leave again, I’ma tie you to the bed and set this house on fire” – Love the Way You Lie

This goes way beyond the (already troubling) domestic violence that has come up in Eminem’s lyrics before. This is talking about the straight up murder of a woman. It’s homicide. Not cool. And it’s not the only time the album speaks in these terms.

“You won’t even listen, so fuck it, I’m tryin’ to stop you from breathin’
I put both hands on your throat, I sit on top of you, squeezin’
Til’ I snap your neck like a Popsicle stick, ain’t a possible reason
I can think of to let you walk up out this house and let you live” – Spacebound

These lyrics are terrifying and the videos are just what you would expect. Coked-out looking models getting beat up and beating on him. So, here’s my next question: What is it that makes me keep listening? Why would I ever give this the time of day, when I get upset daily over much smaller women’s issues?

Like Eminem, I came from a poor background – not exactly Salem’s Lot, but a redneck version. I admire him for being able to rise above the poverty and gang life that was so many of his friend’s fates. I also admire his honesty about the difficulties of fatherhood. He often shouts out to his daughters Haley, Whitney, and Alaina, but there is one song in which he apologizes to Haley for saying that he loves her in songs and often being absent because of his fame. I admire that he used his talent to make a name for himself in a genre not always welcoming to white artists. More than anything though, I admire his honest rage at dominant systems. Although his lyrics don’t offer a solution, they express the anger that I hold inside, creating an outlet by letting me sing along and get it out. Maybe it goes along with what a feminst blogger who calls herself the “Worst Professor Ever” said:

“I love singing along with Eminem, even at his worst. For a moment, I know what it feels like to have the power of the male ego.”

And to be completely honest, not everything Eminem says is bad. He has often gotten a reputation of being anti-gay because of remarks he made against Moby early in his career, but he actually is very open-minded, has a close friendship with Elton John, and told Anderson Cooper that he supports gay marriage, as he says in his lyric:

“Then there’s no reason that a man and another man can’t elope” – The Real Slim Shady

He also speaks honestly about his struggles with depression and drugs, encouraging listeners with similar problems to follow his example and seek help.

“I try and hide it,
But I can’t, why do I act like I’m all high and mighty,
When inside, I’m dying, I am finally realizing I need help” – Going Through Changes

Even I, a fan, know there is more bad than good in Eminem’s lyrics. I am a feminist, one who has lived a long time in academia and knows all the reasons why he is bad for women. But I am still not ready to throw away his CDs and stop listening forever. Like I said to jgrand, it’s a shady situation.