Why Dexter Should Murder the Media

I am behind on my schoolwork this week and it is all Dexter Morgan’s fault. Not only have I neglected my studies, but I’m pretty sure the library’s media desk has been disturbed by my frequent visits and addict-like insistence that they give me the next disk, NOW. Even as I write this, I fight my finger’s impulse to hit play on season four…

Why do they have to end every episode on a cliff-hanger? It’s like the creators of the show want me to find myself in this position, unshowered, unfed, and completely unable to stop wasting my Thursday afternoon. After devoting more time than a work week to the show, I don’t think paralyzing me is the writer’s only intention. In fact, as I reflect on other shows that have held me in their grip, I think I see a trend.

When I first started watching Dexter I was happily surprised to see a Cuban woman serving as Lieutenant in the fictional Miami Metro Homicide Department. A woman in power! A woman of color in power who often questions sexism in the workplace, even more impressive. However, after observing Maria LaGuerta for a few episodes, I realized how backwards her character’s portrayal of feminism was. Her character does not find solidarity in relationships with other powerful women, but rather is severely threatened by them. She even goes as far as to (Season 2 spoiler alert!) sleep with a co-worker’s fiance because she knows the stress of situation will render the other woman incapable of performing at work. She’s right – the other woman completely breaks down and LaGuerta is once again the most powerful woman in the station. Gross right?

The situation reminded me of my old obsession with Grey’s Anatomy (don’t hate, you watched it too). There was a woman of color in power at the fictional Seattle Grace Hospital, Dr. Miranda Bailey. She was a strong character and well-respected by her male colleagues, but only by taking on male qualities in her leadership tactics and earning herself the nickname “Nazi.”

I found myself wondering, were all televised women in power proverbial bitches? Were they incapable of feminism? If so, what did this aspect of the media mean to feminism?

Erica L. Sanchez of the Huffington Post had this to say in her recent article “Why Women Hate Women:”

“It’s obvious to me that women-hating-women only hate themselves. I see right through it, of course, From an early age we are taught to compete against each other. We are told that we should all be vying for male attention throughout our lives. We’re taught to break each other down, and talk about each other’s FUPAS and booty-dos. I can’t help but take it personally, though. When we hate each other, we’re participating in all the garbage we see on TV. We are being divided so we won’t progress as a group of people.”

As feminists I feel that we talk a lot about the sexualization of women that takes place in the media, but we often ignore the fact that even characters that can be read as feminist, like LaGuerta and Dr. Bailey, engage in this “women-hating-women” attitude that Sanchez describes. It’s an attitude that I am becoming more and more familiar with. I have been seeing it between my friends, between co-workers, especially between women on campus. When women are directing hate at you, whatever the reason, it is hard not to get catty right back. It is something that the media has made so commonplace that we hardly even notice it.

In trying to understand this portrayal of women and find a way to counter it, I ran across a site called ‘A Woman’s Journey to Life.’ Admittedly the language is a little dramatic, but the mysterious author, ‘A Woman,’ has quite an extensive series in which she explores women-hating-women relationships. I especially liked her solution to the problem, which begins with a look into self.

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where Women, instead of standing together in alignment and nurturing the world with care, support, warmth, and tenderness, We fight amongst and between each other in an attempt to feel better about ourselves due to the inherited belief that we are weak powerless.”

I am going to go back to watching my favorite serial killer clean up Miami, while simultaneously rolling my eyes at the stereotypical bitchiness of the female characters. I just can’t stop wishing that a vigilante like him will come along and kill this restraining competitive attitude between women, in the media and our lives.