I spent a lot of time pondering about what I should write about for this particular blog. I thought that most of the popular myths had already been written about. Then, I ran across this particular myth and decided that it must be exposed. The site posed it like this: If you’re a TRUE feminist, you can never ever, depend on a man or let him affect your emotions in ANY WAY!!! If you do, you’re a FAKE FEMINIST OMG!!! (http://community.feministing.com/2010/08/09/myths-about-feminism-among-the-younger-generation/ – #5) At first, I chose it because it sounded amusing but then I actually thought about it and found that I had heard this myth before in my Women’s Studies class.
Why are feminists portrayed as women with no emotions other than anger and no love for men? Because these myths are meant to dehumanize them. However, feminists are people too and we need emotional connections with others in order to survive, men included. We do not purposefully seek to make only strong female emotional ties. We want strong friendships and romance too and we do not find all men repulsive. If we lived life avoiding all men, our lives would be very boring and very difficult. In fact, we would probably need to just enter a nunnery in order to avoid all men. Also, what about the male feminists? Apparently, they do not exist in this myth. Regardless of this myth, I believe that everyone (regardless of gender) has different opinions on different subjects and we grow as people by sharing these views and learning from others.
Being a strong person, not just a feminist, means having the courage to put yourself out there and make deep connections with other people. People need to depend on others or else life would be very hard and unhappy. In order to have a fulfilling and meaningful life, we need to have others impact our lives as well as affecting others’ lives. Coming into contact with people who do not share our views but are willing to communicate civilly helps us grow and better understand the other parties. If we can understand our own weaknesses, it helps us better ourselves because then we know that we are not infallible. The willingness to acknowledge the weaker parts of our arguments makes us stronger people in the long run.
Becoming a feminist does not mean isolating yourself from all men. Feminists just want others to understand that everything is not fine and accepting in the world. We want both men and women to see that there are disparities in the way women are treated. We do not mean that women should never get married. We just want women to have a choice. If she wants to stay at home and take care of the kids, that’s fine. She should not feel that she needs to do this – she just needs to know that she has another option. As long as she knows that she had the choice of becoming a career woman and supporting the kids just as well as her husband does.
Remember: feminists are people too.
ShoutOut! James Madison University 
It’s funny that you wrote about this today. I got a movie from RedBox yesterday just to zone out for awhile. It’s called “I Don’t Know How She Does It,” with Sarah Jessica Parker. There is a character in the movie who, I am assuming, is supposed to be the “bitchy feminist” type. In between plot points, the movie has pseudo-interviews with other characters about SJP and how she handles being a mom and career-woman. During the feminist’s parts, she is constantly critiquing SJP’s character for having children and not being all business, all day. She also is vehemently against having children and in all of her interviews, she, of course, shows no emotions. I haven’t finished the end of the movie yet, but when I stopped, she announced to SJP’s character that she is pregnant and that it’s a mistake but maybe this mistake will work out. SJP goes to hug her and it’s supposed to be funny because the girl doesn’t want a hug or congratulations or anything.
Needless to say, I found it kind of problematic. But, then I started to think about it more holistically. Interestingly enough, I now like the relationship between SJP and her “bitchy” coworker. I think the movie shows the tension that modern women feel about being the super-sexy-bitchy-career woman and the supermom (another character in the movie). What you “end up” with is a woman who can miraculously handle both. I think it shows honest feminism. SJP’s character isn’t perfect, but that’s how it is. We shouldn’t have to feel like we need to be one or the other extreme version of who other people want us to be. At the end of the day, we just have to make our own choices and figure out what works for us.
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Thanks for the comment! I’ve never seen that movie but it seems very interesting. :] As my blog shows, I’ve always thought that women should do what they want, regardless of whether it seems feminist or not. Like you said, we just have to make our own choices. Feminism is fighting to give women that chance to make the choice. That’s my own personal definition of feminism.
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I like that definition because it allows for personal interpretation and subjectivity, which is important for things like feminism. Unlike math where someone can say, “you’re doing it wrong,” I don’t think people should be able to, at least flat out, say someone isn’t feminist enough. I think there is almost always room for discussion. Even when there doesn’t seem to be a question about whether or not something is feminist, I think it’s necessary to have a discussion because if we don’t, we’re being just as exclusive.
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