Hey, Man! Lay Off My Junk!

Okay, everyone, so I’m sure you’ve heard about the new TSA regulations at many U.S. airports that require passengers to go through a full-body scan. Well, if you haven’t, here’s a photo of the type of image that the scanner creates for TSA officials:

 

 

 

Now, for those passengers who find the scanners to be too obtrusive, they can opt for a full pat down. While at first passengers had few complaints about the scanners, unsurprisingly, someone has claimed that our commie government has violated their rights! That’s right, John Tyner claims that he was being molested by the TSA and tells one TSA employee “If you touch my junk or I’ll have you arrested.” Since this first man has come forward with the complaint, many others have followed and the Tea Party has even created an “Opt-Out” Day for this Wednesday, November 24^th.

 

I don’t know how many people will have the patience to actually watch the John Tyner video that I’ve posted from YouTube but if you have; is it just me or is this guy completely nuts? I’m going to go with it’s not just me. Here’s why:

First of all, if you’ve watched the video, you find that the TSA employee was extremely professional and pleasant to Mr. Tyner, and even when Tyner tells him “If you touch my junk, I’m gonna have you arrested,” the agent is still calm and professional and tells him he’s going to have to get the supervisor. But, no! This cannot be standard protocol to protect Americans from the lunatics who actually DO bring bombs hidden next to their “junk” on planes in their underpants! No! Clearly, obviously, TSA employees are just so horny that they sat in a room together one night for hours discussing how they would deal with their insatiable horniness and decided that they needed to start grabbing the balls of airline passengers. Duh. That’s a much clearer explanation for why TSA has created these new regulations.

 

I don’t know about you, but I would much rather feel slightly uncomfortable for five minutes than die in a bomb explosion on a plane on Christmas day and have my family suffer for eternity due to my loss. But I guess that’s just because I’m a communist…

 

Since John Tyner’s video went viral and media outlets around the country started interviewing him, more and more people have stepped forward and complained. By the looks of what I have seen on TV today (and trust me I’ve watched a lot of TV today), the people who seem to be complaining the most are white males. Maybe that is just whom the news stations seek out to interview, or maybe they are the only people who travel. But to me, this seems to point to something completely different. Privilege.

 

Maybe the reason I am not appalled by these new screening procedures is because I am a woman. Since our bodies have so often been objectified and groped and gawked at since the dawn of time, maybe I am just desensitized to the idea of these men claiming molestation. I find it ironic that they cry out about their rights and bodies and privacy being violated yet every single day women are sexually harassed, raped, and molested. There is no news organization that would sit down with me if I was sexually harassed or abused at a party and complained to the general public about it, and if they did they sure as hell would not treat me like a victim (take ihavemythings’ post the other day on JMU’s response to a student being sexually assaulted on campus, for example). But because these men hold that special privilege, they are instantly portrayed by the media as poor, innocent, victims that had their rights violated. I mean I don’t want to be groped in an airport either, but I doubt the TSA is actually a molestation group implanted by the government to fondle us (call me crazy). One more thing that I tend to find interesting about this whole scenario is this bizarre over-sexualization of everything. What makes this man think that the TSA agent gets any pleasure from patting him down? Does he really believe himself to be so completely irresistible that a TSA agent just won’t be able to help himself/herself in copping a feel? I mean, come on, get over yourself, John Tyner.

Am I nuts or do you guys tend to agree with these guys, do you feel that your rights are violated by undergoing these kinds of security measures? Or do you feel that flying is a privilege these days-not a right?