Overheard at JMU: The Sexist (and Racist) Edition

“Yeah, I have this one bitch on lock at Tech…” (Trio of bros, repeated 3x, outside of my building while I was walking the dog)

 

“You’re really uptight” (Some guy to a friend after trying (unsuccessfully) to get in her pants)

 

“Dude, we did so much better after we put one of our girls in the goal” (Two boys talking on the sidelines of a soccer game on ways to avoid that awful “3 girls on the field” rule…)

 

“White girls only!” (Two sweet neighbors to my best friend (who is Vietnamese) from their balcony while we sat peacefully on ours to talk. “White girls only” what exactly?… allowed to be outdoors?)

 

“I love fat chicks!” (Guy sticking his head out the window of his car to yell at a friend and I…on our way back from the gym)

 

“I mean…I guess you’re alright” (Group of guys commenting on a group of (girl)friends as we walked to a party, then laughed hysterically. We hadn’t said anything to them)

 

“You made her sound so hot. I mean she’s alright…I’d fuck her” (Listening to two guys talking on their way to class)

 

“You’re okay… but she’s way hotter” (Some guy I didn’t even know to me as I stood in line for the bathroom, letting me know his friend was “hotter” in case I was losing sleep over it)

 

Okay, so I could go on for days with these fun little quotes, but those were just the highlights. Not only were they the highlights, I want you to know that I only came up with this idea like a week ago, meaning that most of these fun tidbits were things that have happened within the past week or two. Some I pulled from my memory because they were just too great to pass up. Now, what I could do is rant about those comments for pages upon pages, but I’m not going to do that. Nope, instead, I am going to focus the attention on what I did wrong in these situations.

 

As I was typing in these juicy remarks, I was reminded of my actions in each and every situation. You wanna know what I did every single time that I heard these disgusting words come out of some guy’s mouth? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I can recall my blood boiling with anger and wanting to scream at the top of my lungs until these idiots understood my fury. I wanted to throw books at them in hopes that someday they would pick one up and actually read something about oppression and sexism-but who am I kidding? I acted like a coward in every instance. I said nothing because I didn’t want to start a fight. I didn’t want to upset anyone and look like the “crazy” girl. But, in doing so, I was perpetuating the same problem that made me see red. Since I was too scared to shake up the status quo, these guys know they can get away with everything that they have said. They know it’s okay because no one will call them out and tell them that they’re wrong. In every instance, I could have said something, anything, calmly and coolly to get the point across that they simply cannot talk like that to women, or talk like that in general. But, like they have been accustomed to their entire lives, no one told them to shut up.

 

So, I’ve made a little agreement with myself. Never, ever again will I not say anything when shit’s going down. I am so sick of so many boys at JMU getting away with this because everyone is too timid to mix things up and speak their minds. Maybe if more women start telling them off they will start to get the picture and change their ways. I’m not saying we should all curse them out and call them “fucking piece of shit assholes that don’t know shit about fuck” (whatever that means). Instead, we should coolly call them out with stern and confident tones, letting them know we’re not dumb “bitches” they can exploit. Hey, I don’t know if it will change anything, but at least we could all at least try to change things. Better to try than do nothing at all!