The term “body count” is something women on college campuses seem to hear often. We hear it from potential romantic partners, friends, or even random people attempting to create a conversation. Although it is meant to ask the number of people one has had sex with, the phrase and its meaning reinforce the judgment and barriers that women face when having sex.
At a glance, the term seems to be already a bit vulgar when referring to sex as a “body count”, which is the term also used for how many people one has killed. But that is the least of concerns with this term. The main concern is how it reinforces the idea that women are not supposed to have casual sex. There is an amount of shame tied to the term, especially when reflecting on the reactions of a man’s number to a woman’s. When men share their “body count”, they are high-fived and congratulated. Almost acting as if these women were conquests and that they were trying to collect and reach new levels. However, women, as you can probably guess, are shamed for pretty much any number they share.
This sex double standard is far from new. It shows the years and years of attempting to maintain a woman’s sexuality under control. It shows how men want to think of women as modest and prudish. This is an even bigger issue when you look at how boys treat their girlfriends and significant others when it comes to sex. On one hand, a guy doesn’t want to date a woman who is “run through” or has a high body count. Yet, when a woman does not want to have sex with them, they call them a prude, using the term that was previously positive as an insult. This is one of the many ways that society tells us that women simply can never win.
The term body count not only affects others’ views on women, but it also affects the view that women begin to have on themselves. The term creates a sense of guilt within women themselves, as the term seems to make women feel less and less valued as their numbers rise. This creates pressure for women to conform to societal standards, which is a problem when there is no issue with having sex.
The deepest issue with this term is that it is simply dehumanizing towards everyone involved. When thinking of two people engaging in sexual contact, and stripping them down to a number, it reduces meaning to sex, when sex is supposed to be one of the most meaningful things between two people. The language used when talking about women is already at an all-time low, yet when referring to them as simply a number, it might be the worst yet. Men already sexualize and comment on women in disgusting ways, but now they can’t even talk positively about those they have been most intimate with? It makes you think about how these men who love to throw around the term “body count” will end up in the future when they may have a child. Will they reinforce these terms to them? Will they be ok when their potential future daughter is talked about in this way?
When challenging the idea of a body count, this doesn’t mean that conversations about sex should stop. In fact, the only way as a society that we will beat the stigma is by talking about it. Although as a society we have a long way to go when talking about sex comfort, and equally, if the conversation starts, it may find a better ending. Apparently, the only difficult part is treating both participating parties like equals.