I Asked For Help and No One Answered

I started at JMU in the midst of the pandemic as an at-risk chronically ill student. Each successive semester required me to constantly push myself to the point of crisis just to survive while watching my peers succeed. I was drowning, unable to get help for myself. My friends searched for any help or resources while my professors did nothing.

I first learned that OSARP and the Office of Equal Opportunity existed from a friend 9 months after I was kicked out of a class for being visibly disabled. This past month, I learned that the Dean of Students office could provide concrete help from this same friend who was willing to go through the motions of asking for help even though they didn’t realistically expect JMU to provide any. In researching for this post and scouring through JMU resources, I learned that the Counseling Center has a ‘Sexual Trauma Empowerment Program’ (STEP) specifically designed to help student survivors of sexual violence. I learned about the student organization ‘Students Against Sexual Violence’ (SASV) this semester because it was brought up by a classmate while having a class discussion on sexual violence.

I’ve spoken to multiple professors who I trust and respect about the crises happening in my life. Some of them I have even talked to about being sexually assaulted. Those conversations have resulted in help offered with course work and accommodations for assignments, but it has never resulted in a professor recommending resources. I have suddenly disappeared from classes with little to no communication and had professors notice my absence, but do nothing. I was asking for help; I needed help. It simply seemed like there was nothing else to give. 

Minoritized people expect resources to be actively harmful, especially at a school like JMU that doesn’t protect its students from outside community members intent on harassing and stalking the halls, a school that has made national news for being antisemitic, a school that repeatedly denies disabled people fair access to education. I knew that JMU had resources available like the Counseling Center and TimelyCare, but I had never heard an account of them being helpful to anyone in my community. Why would I take the risk to be vulnerable and explain my situation when I know no one who has recommended these services, no one who will vouch for these people? Why would I give someone the chance to invalidate and worsen my trauma? Existing at JMU as a minority was enough evidence for me to understand that chasing help that was never handed to me would only hurt.

JMU has successfully taught its students and its faculty that help offered is only in name, yet there still are resources prepared to offer substantial aid. I can personally vouch, as a queer disabled student, for the Dean of Students office, the Collins Center, and student organizations like iDREAM and the NCC. My friends and community members have also had positive experiences with the Counseling Center, SASV, and OSARP. 

Minoritized students do not expect JMU to care about them. Professors need to hold themselves to a higher standard of care. Mandated reporters, even when not contacting the police, should be contacting someone or giving students the resources to contact someone themselves – even and especially if you assume that student is already aware or receiving support. There shouldn’t be an expectation that students in distress are researching supports they don’t know exist, and fellow students shouldn’t hold the burden of keeping each other afloat.