Harassment happens

My spring break was last week and let me just say what a lovely break it was, but I just could not help noticing and worrying about myself and all my friends who were having fun over the break. I mean, I should have been focusing on having a great experience and trying not to catch the worst sunburn of my life, but the entire time I was extremely anxious of the dangers that coincide with being a woman and roaming around a new city or place during spring break. Then, I realized, this is not just a spring break issue but a general issue that I’ve felt but put on the back burner in my head for a while now. So, let’s talk about it.

Going Out

This past week my roommates and I decided to visit a new city where my roommates’ parents were now living, so we got on the plane and made our way through airport security frazzled but excited for a new adventure. It was our last spring break, and I was looking forward to spending some time with the people I loved the most. I assumed the scariest thing I would experience on the trip was the turbulence but, instead, was met with an interesting car ride in an Uber on our third night there.

Let me just say, the woman who drove us was a sweet human being. My friends and I planned on going to a bar and catching a bite to eat. We were dressed nicely and drove past the ocean as beachgoers left for the day with some pretty terrifying tan-lines (the sun near the equator is no joke). As we began to chat with our Uber driver she gave us a pretty stern talk. She lived just outside of town, but anyone could tell she knew a lot about spring break. She told us to be safe, that she did not want to hear about any girls going missing and wanted us to stay together. It was a bit unsettling, but her heart was absolutely in the right place. As we drove to our stop and exited the car she yelled out “be safe” once more and then she was gone.

The rest of the night went smoothly, we met a waiter who told us where we could buy some sweatshirts as the night went on, and we walked from store to store until they closed up. With our sweatshirts on, we decided to go to a bar and check out more of the town. As we reached the bar an older man approached us and asked if we were old enough. We told him we were seniors in college to which he responded, “good” and offered to pay for our drinks. We politely said no thank you, but he insisted and became a bit erratic, yelling for the woman behind the bar and kept calling her “barkeep.” When she saw us, she became very stern to the man, demanding respect (rightfully so) and scaring him off a bit. We made a point to say “thank you” and sat back down, a bit unsettled of what was to come. My friends were nervous he might try to join us as he kept staring, however, the man walked off.

The reason I am telling this anecdote is not to scare anybody but to make people more aware of a situation that could have turned out much worse. As we paid for our drinks and called an Uber back to our hotel the woman behind the bar told us something that made my heart sink. She shared that she sees situations like this happen at the bar often with young women who are trying to enjoy their night when men will approach and refuse to listen and instead harass and make women uncomfortable. She apologized for being stern and hoped that we did not think she was rude to which we vehemently denied, sharing a song of “thank you” for looking out for us.

A bit of a nightmare

This anecdote is not a unique one. In fact, so many women share stories much worse than these. In my four years of college, I have had many run ins with harassment, feeling unsafe just for walking home or going to work. Statistically, about 1 in 3 women experience sexual harassment when observing harassment in a public place.

Both women and men can experience sexual harassment, but to go into that further, women who identify as lesbian or bisexual, who have beliefs of gender equality, or are stereotypically considered more masculine in behavior, appearance, or personality, experience increased sexual harassment rates. Both transgender men and women encounter increased harassment. Research shows that verbal insults related to gender harassment accompanied with microaggressions are experienced by women of color. These facts are shocking and shows just how incredibly damaging sexual harassment can be.

Due to social media, the issue of sexual harassment is becoming more known. I’ll open TikTok and see a woman playing Call of Duty as men tell her to “make them a sandwich,” and call her horrifying names just for playing a game. My favorite male content creators will talk about other men calling them terrible names on the street. The fear in their voices radiating through the phone, sexual harassment makes everyone feel unsafe for existing in spaces they are absolutely allowed to be in.

I guess I’m just tired. I’m tired of feeling anxious on spring break trips or covering up more on a night out to avoid any attention I didn’t ask for. I’m tired of hearing the same stories from the voices of people whom I love. I’m tired of hearing the stories from people I don’t even know. So, my point is, keep bringing awareness to the issue and know there are so many people that are there for you and love you. Encourage those around you who don’t know enough about this issue to learn more.