Can We Please Stop Invalidating Women Who Choose Not to Have Kids?

woman sitting on blanket along beach shoreline

I don’t know who else can relate, but every time I mention not wanting to have kids, I am met with airy condescension and dismissive comments. I’m not sure how, in the Lord’s year of 2020, young women are still viewed as naive and amusing when they dare to dream of a life without children, but I’m so very over it. Okay, Karen, it’s awesome that you had kids and they’re your whole world and you can’t possibly think of a life without them. That’s great. It’s also not my bag, so F off. I don’t care if you “thought the same thing when you were my age.”

Did you dream of being The Cool Aunt from a very young age, while your younger sister obsessed over baby dolls and playing with her dollhouse? Well I did! And I even used to tell my mom that I wanted to adopt two kids—a young one, and a teenager to take care of the young one. Soooooo, yeah, I think I’ll do the children of the world, and myself, a favor by sticking to my cool aunt plan. I love kids in moderation! But I want to be able to give them back to their owners (er, parents) when I get bored. I want to spend my free time and extra money on myself…hey, at least I’m big enough to admit I’m selfish. And I think that’s kind of what it comes down to. Women who choose themselves over a family, or whatever it may be, are often viewed as selfish. Our purpose on this earth has been largely relegated to taking care of other people, be it children, partners, whomever.

I reject the world’s narrative for what a young woman’s future should look like. I fully support every woman who wants the typical American family dream, and I can’t wait to be an auntie to the future kids of my siblings, cousins (who are practically my siblings), and best friends. And if I choose to have children one day, it certainly won’t be the idea of someone who provided their unsolicited opinion when I told them I didn’t picture kids in my future. If you feel the same way as I do, or even if you don’t, check out “richauntiesupreme” on Instagram! The account’s bio reads, “….Celebrating & creating community with those women who choose a journey of being childfree and indulgence in the villages around them,” and the content is top tier. Bottom line: do what you want, but stop telling other women they’ll change their minds about what they want.

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