Things I Should Have Said

This semester I have been exposed to more and more feminist rhetoricians and not only has this expanded my mind, but it has helped me come more self-aware.  One such wonderful author that has helped this growth is the work done by Nomy Lamm, specifically her piece “It’s a Big Fat Revolution”.  It is this piece where I was first exposed to the concept of fat oppression, and the idea that those who are larger run into various road blocks that those who aren’t do not experience.  The concept that those we consider fat in our society do not have the same life experience isn’t a novel idea to me, I’m fat I live this experience every day.  The difference that this reading made to me is that it gave it a name, it took every feeling that I have experienced and put it under this suitable umbrella term-fat oppression.

What is fat oppression you may ask?  Well, it’s like any other form of oppression it’s just directed at those who are fat.  Those who are thin have certain privileges and power that those who aren’t do not get to receive.  So when I read this article and I could not help but exclaim, “Glory, Hallelujah! I have found a saving grace!”  I could not wait to go to class because I was excited to have this conversation, to finally discuss a topic that affected me more than any other in my life.  Imagine my disappointment when the discussion turned into a session about how everyone has it bad and that is it not just fat people who have difficulties in this media driven society.  The only thing that people seemed to be able to talk about was the other end of the spectrum, those who are anorexic and the problems that they go through.  Understand I am not trying to discount the experiences of those who suffer from anorexia, but I just wanted my experience to be validated.  For others to realize that my life is completely different than those who are “traditionally” thin and that there are obstacles that I have to face that someone who is not large has to, even those who have other body image issues.  Yet, I could say none of this because the topic that I could most identify with also is the issue that kept me silent.  I could not say anything because I did not want to be the fat girl who talked about the fat issue.  So here is what I wish I had said to the class…

Yes, everyone has their own body image issues I understand that, and I understand that society pressures all of us into attempting to fit into their traditional beauty roles.  However, the life of someone who is fat is vastly different than those who have other body issues.  My fat is something I can never get away from, it is always there and I am always aware of it. Every time I go into a store and try to find clothes, every time I get on the bus and it starts to get full, every time I walk through a group of people I am aware of every pound, every bulge, and every roll.  My entire life has been shaped by the weight of my body it determines what I do and what I don’t do.  It changes the way I think of myself and the intentions of others.  Yes, if you have an issue with your nose you may experience some of these same things, but I’m not sure how pervasive they are and I have never heard of “nose talk.”  Yet, “fat talk” is a part of my everyday life, hearing women who are obviously smaller than me talk about how fat they are or talking about how fat people shouldn’t wear certain clothing is something I deal with all the time.  Our society has trained me, along with everyone else, to come to the conclusion that fat is synonymous with ugly.  Our class is about opening our eyes to the world around us, we understand that someone who is black has a different life experience so why do we shut our eyes and minds to the idea that someone who is fat may have one too?

So, that is just a few of the things that I wish I had had the courage to say to my class that day.  I’m wondering am I the only one who has had this sort of experience?  Where because the issue has affected you so much when others refuse to acknowledge it you can’t seem to speak up about it either?  How do you feel about “fat talk” and “fat oppression”?  What are your experiences?  Let me know in the comments!