The Actual Ugly Truth

My friends and I were gathered around dinner the other night talking about our ideal man. Some characteristics that were thrown out were generous, domesticated, tall, and intelligent. We talked about how we want our men to be nerdy, but athletic, but a good father and also a good cook.

It made me think, when did we come to believe that somehow such a man exists?

When you watch popular television shows, they always somehow seem to create male characters that encompass many of these characteristics. Good looking buff men who are sensitive and caring and tear up in moments of vulnerability – but last time I checked, such men do not exist. Are these fantasies created naturally, such as getting growing pains, going through puberty, creating images of unrealistic men that we one day hope to wed? Or are these imbedded in us through movies, music and other types of media?

I asked my roommates what some of their favorite chick flicks were. Immediately a barrage of movie titles came at me, but the ones that garnered the most excitement were The Vow, P.S I Love You, and The Notebook. In each of these movies, the male character goes to unrealistic lengths to prove their everlasting love for their girlfriend/fiancé/lover. The love of these beautiful men is unwavering, and the plot of the movies all revolve around their efforts to pursue, capture, and maintain this love – no matter what the cost.

I think most women of sound mind would realize that these men are unrealistic and the evil Nicholas Sparks has slowly but surely reinvented the same character over and over again to continue our diminishing dreams of such a perfect man. But subconsciously, are these characters and plot lines becoming our foundation for our idea of a future spouse?

Growing up, I had many conflicting ideals about what my future spouse would be like. I had witnessed not only my own parents divorce, but lived through many of my friend’s parents divorce. There is a 50 percent divorce rate in America – and a 75 percent divorce rate amongst the parents of my closest group of friends.  With statistics this daunting, these chick flicks are infuriating to watch. It almost toys with the reality of our situation.

These movies present unrealistic scenarios, where women will inevitably find the love of their life, and this love of her life will be everything she ever dreamed of. In reality, women (and men) are waiting longer then ever before to get married. Many women are also opting to stay single longer, in order to put their career first and worry about their love life second.

The Ugly Truth, starring Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl revolves around a single TV producer who is losing ratings for her morning news show.

In order to revive her show, she is forced to give a segment of airtime to a man who gives relationship advice to women claiming that men are attracted to women solely based on sex and physical looks. (Spoiler alert- exit out of this window if you ever plan on watching this movie)

By the end of the movie, Butler has wooed Heigl into a relationship and has boosted her ratings on the show, all in all saving her show and her. What irks me the most about this ending is I can’t wrap my mind around how one man can make so many positive changes in your life – helping your career and now you’re dating him? Because alone, Heigl would not have been able to live a happily ever after life single, or save her show without the help of a man.

43 percent of all Americans are single, and for every 100 single women, there are 88 single men. That means in a perfect world if 88 women and men got together, there are 12 women who are out of luck.

In my opinion, I think statistics and popular movies are not lining up. Media, especially television and movies, are supposed to be reflections of our everyday lives. But pop culture is in fact leading us on like a heartless player,

leading us to believe that a perfect relationship is in our near future and we just have to wait for it to fall into place (and that is the Ugly Truth).

I think chick flicks should start with a viewer discretion stating that ‘the contents of this movie in no way reflect the real life scenarios of romantic relationships, and all plot lines are extremely fictionally based’. Perhaps if viewers were given this notification before the movie started, they would not leave the theatre in a euphoria of false hope and sappy happiness.