The Invisible Rulebook

From the time we were little girls to now, there has been these impossible standards we are expected to follow. It’s like we were handed this invisible rulebook about how we’re supposed to look like.

Thin, but curvy.

Fit, but not too muscular.

Flawless, but natural.

And in the end, it doesn’t matter what you look like, because it will never be good enough for society. We start to lose the ability to call our bodies our own, and instead they start to become these projects.

The Barbie movie explained this perfectly in her emotional, authentic speech. The Barbie characters says,

“You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.“

And this touched so many women, not because it’s some amazing, curated lines. But because this is our reality.

From the moment we were little, we have seen this on tv, social media, with celebrities, and even our own family member’s comments. I remember my dad saying to me, “Are you seriously getting another plate of pasta. Are you sure you need that?” These comments stick with you, especially coming from a person that you’ve looked up to and a person that you have been taught to listen to your entire life.

It’s exhausting. Being a woman is exhausting. It’s mentally and emotionally draining have the feeling of never having your body be good enough. You cannot win a game that is designed to keep you insecure. The media, beauty brands, diet culture, all benefit from women feeling like they need to change, to be fixed, to alter themselves to match an unrealistic expectation.

But what if we stopped thinking about our bodies as projects and instead started treating them as our homes. Our homes to take care of, nourish, and love. We put so much of our value of ourselves on our appearance. When in reality, body image is about our autonomy. We need to unlearn this idea that our value is measured in the numbers on the scale, the inches of our waste, or what we see in the mirror.

The most wonderful thing a women can do is just be. Just exist in her body without apology.

Without changing.

Without performing.

Without criticizing.

Just existing.