Growing up as an only child, I always felt as though I was three steps behind everyone else. While my classmates had started “dating” in 5th grade, I still didn’t fully understand the concept of what a boyfriend was. In middle school, when the boys in my class were joking about masturbation, I wanted to join in on the joke, obviously not knowing how inappropriate it was for P.E. When girls in high school were getting their first kisses, I felt out of place and as if I had nothing to contribute to the conversation.
Once I got to college, things changed. Following along with what everyone around me was doing, just not feeling left out, wasn’t a good enough reason to do something, especially when I didn’t have all the information. In our society, it feels as though it’s looked down upon for women to talk about not just their intimate experiences but the complications that could come with it. Sure, my friends and I would talk about the wild things we did with the random guy we met on a dating app, but why did we draw the line when it came to discussing our periods being late or having a weird rash down there?
For years, and maybe more, talking about women’s sexual health or even just women’s sexuality has been so taboo. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve heard guys talking about all the porn they watch or how many girls they’ve slept with, but with my own girlfriends, I can recount maybe one time we have indirectly told each other about the possibility of masturbating. I think that we need to normalize talking about our sexuality (and by “our” I mean women, cis or non-cis) with our close, trusted friends because that creates a safe space to then talk about sexual health as well.
I lost my virginity freshman year of college, and it definitely was not as romantic as they make it seem in the movies. If I’m honest, I was kind of disappointed, but I also felt slightly relieved to get it over with. I wasn’t dating the person I lost it to, so when I hadn’t gotten my period after a month, and then another month, until finally I got it, almost five months later, I freaked out. I couldn’t help but Google “Can I be pregnant even though we used a condom?” I didn’t tell any of my friends because I thought they would judge me, and I was scared to death to tell my mom.
After I had that scare and no one to talk to, I knew I had to advocate for myself. I started dating someone new my sophomore year, and I knew I didn’t want another scare like the one I had after my first time, so I decided to confide in my mom, and she suggested I go to JMU’S Health Center and see if they could prescribe me a birth control pill. Although it was scary to go alone without my mom, I knew it was for the best, and it would bring me peace of mind, and I would be doing the right thing to protect my body.
JMU’s Health Center made it really easy for me to make an appointment, get checked, and be given a prescription for birth control. All I had to do was log into my JMU chart, go to health center, click appointments, choose “birth control new starts or discussion of options (includes pills, patch, ring and Depo)” and submit the form and a staff member from the Health Center, usually a nurse, will reach out to you to make an appointment at no charge. There’s also a pharmacy on the first floor that will give you a discount on whatever oral pill you’re prescribed.
After going to the health center for the first time, it’s been way easier and less anxiety-inducing the next few times I’ve gone. I will always advocate for anyone, not just women, to not be afraid of judgment and push themself to get the healthcare they need, especially in college, because it’s better to start a good habit of going now rather than waiting too long. I know it’s easier said than done for a lot of folks, but the relief you feel of knowing that the Google search of your symptoms was wrong is the most reassuring feeling in the world.
ShoutOut! James Madison University 