Being the Adult in the Room Over the Holiday Season

This past week, many students left their college campus to return home and celebrate Thanksgiving with their families. In one more week, they will once again return to their hometown for Winter Break. Over these extended breaks, which celebrate various holidays, many families coordinate and travel to meet with extended family, relatives, and close friends. Many families, including mine, come from very different areas and have contrasting lifestyles, backgrounds, and perceptions of society. Over the holidays, especially post election season, this melting pot of people within households is known to create tension and arguments over political disagreements. After this past semester which for me consisted of four SCOM classes, I feel better suited to identify, reason with, and de-escalate these situations.

Particularly after an election cycle, Thanksgiving and the winter holidays are hotspots for political conversations while tensions and emotions are still high. My parents have a pretty consistent disagreement of political views, however they are not extremely passionate or vocal about their opinions, and I am grateful that they never pushed their ideologies or opinions on myself or my siblings. This makes discussion within my immediate household simple and non-confrontational, which is a luxury many don’t have. But this doesn’t mean that disagreements over a wide range of topics are not voiced, especially in the company of extended family.

My mother’s family consists of a number of Catholic Italians, many originating and immigrating over from Sicily. They spent a lot of time in central Massachusetts, where they eventually settled in Virginia Beach, Virginia where my parents met. My dad’s family is from a long line of poor, German and Irish immigrants that settled in central Pennsylvania. My dad is one of nine kids and is only one of three that no longer lives in Pennsylvania. 

Park, National. “The Immagrant’s Statue.” National Park Service, 2015, http://www.nps.gov/stli/learn/historyculture/the-immigrants-statue.htm.

This fusion of backgrounds creates a number of frictions within my extended family over the holidays, which happens to families across the country. Certain topics provoke a higher degree of emotion in certain individuals, a popular example is abortion. This is where Communication Studies has really prepared me for these awkward and uncomfortable situations. For my upcoming family holiday visits, I will know how to identify when these conversations are forming or escalating. I’ll then be able to identify each person’s cultural background and how it has shaped their opinions on issues, while also still being able to acknowledge the privilege that some of my relatives have over others. I can also try to prevent these arguments from happening at inappropriate places like the dinner table, churches, and at large social events. 

While SCOM has helped to prepare me for this political discussion over the holidays, I know there are still areas I need to work on moving forward. I know I come from a very privileged standpoint and it has certainly shaped my political and social views. There are people within my family who I know fall in more marginalized categories, which have given them a much different upbringing than myself. We all must try to identify this and factor it into our thought and discussion to avoid ignorant behavior which can be toxic around the holidays. 

Vibe, The Concious. “Whats a Mental Block ? Tips to Overcome & Identify – the Conscious Vibe.” Pintrest, 2021, in.pinterest.com/pin/whats-a-mental-block-tips-to-overcome-identify-the-conscious-vibe–577164508513914077/.

It is important to identify the difference between thoughtful dialect and unproductive arguing. Large groups of people sharing differing opinions is how we can unify and educate ourselves as a society. But the manner in which we conduct these conversations is the determining factor in how productive these conversations unfold. Going into the next stretch of break, we must remember to be respectful and mindful when having conversations about sensitive topics, and not allow politics to negatively impact our relationships and time with our families.