ADHD IN RELATIONSHIPS

Do you know someone with ADHD and that’s in a relationship? Maybe the spouse without ADHD complains about the spouse with ADHD, or the person with ADHD complaining about the spouse who doesn’t have ADHD and how they’re always nagging them. With that being said, relationships can be hard to maintain, especially when one of the spouses has ADHD and the other doesn’t. 

ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is defined as a mental disorder that causes a person’s inability to focus, be unorganized, forgetting things, to act impulsively, and to be more hyperactive. Dating a person with ADHD has its cons and pros. One example of a con in this type of relationship is forgetting anniversaries, not paying attention to what your spouse is saying, and not giving them the attention that they need in a relationship. Some pros are the ADHD spouse being more active and energetic, creative and very engaged in their relationship.

But what is it like for a person with ADHD to date another individual with ADHD? Does it cause chaos? Or is it more of a calm and understanding relationship? Matter of fact, it’s both! I personally have ADHD and so does my significant other. The good thing about two people with ADHD dating each other is that we know how each other’s brains work and how to maintain the relationship instead of destroying it because one of them forgot the date they were supposed to go on. However, there are some frustrating things that ADHD couples struggle with being in a relationship together is one individual caring and engaging more than the other. Women with ADHD can get annoyed with their ADHD spouse when they don’t pay enough attention to them or brush things off as not important.

In a personal perspective of someone with ADHD dating someone also with ADHD it can be a struggle when my significant other does not notice that somethings bothering me due to him being inattentive, however it can be the opposite with him being so engaged in what I’m doing and my body language and will ask me what’s wrong. We are both college students and being in college with ADHD is not easy. Assignments start to pile up, things are forgotten, and procrastinating studying for that exam you have next week can cause a lot of built up stress that can come tumbling out onto other people. So, sometimes we can get a little frustrated with one another and start to blame things but after some time we come back knowing what really happened. That it was the stress talking and it wasn’t what we really meant.

Two individuals with ADHD that are in a relationship is not a chaotic mess that most people might think it is. It is a relationship of understanding and support. ADHD or not, most people’s spouse knows them better than anyone else, and couples with ADHD it’s like looking through a mirror, there are no secrets, they see right through you and understand you.