Last Wednesday, my friend and I were talking and we ended up on the topic of relationship terminology. I was explaining how I wish people would use the word “partner” to refer to their significant other. My reasoning is that when people hear this term, they tend to expect someone of the same gender. However, this word does not exclusively refer to same-sex couples, yet there is this underlying assumption that it does.
I will admit that I used to think this way as well, but why is this belief so deeply ingrained in us? It wasn’t until I entered college that, on multiple occasions, professors would refer to their significant other as their “partner.” This was one of the first times I would experience someone talking about their significant other who was the opposite sex. It seemed that any time the term “partner” was used, it was often assumed to refer to a same-sex relationship.
Globally
English is already a difficult language for many people to grasp, and “relational norms” only add to the confusion. For example, when someone refers to their “boyfriend,” a non-native English speaker who is unfamiliar with American slang might not fully understand who they are referring to. In some cultures or languages, “boyfriend” might not exist as a formal term, or it may have different connotations, leading to misunderstandings. Different cultures have different societal “norms” about what dating is or relationships in general. Relationships, culturally, have many different meanings, whether that be arranged, casual, or serious. Is this person talking about a romantic partner, a close male friend, or just someone they spend time with? These cultural and linguistic differences can create confusion in global contexts.
Age
Similarly, the word “partner” might be more widely used by older adults who are in long-term relationships but not married. However, for younger people, “partner” could be seen as too formal or serious, leading to misunderstandings about the nature of the relationship. The way relationship terms are interpreted often depends on the age and cultural background of both the speaker and the listener, adding another layer of complexity to English relationship terminology.
Avoiding Assumptions
If it were common to use the phrase “partner,” no one would assume whether someone is a man or a woman; rather, it would lead to a more inclusive and respectful environment where conversations are free from assumptions about gender or sexual orientation. By normalizing the use of “partner,” we can avoid perpetuating heteronormative or gender-based assumptions that often unconsciously shape our interactions. This simple linguistic shift would ensure that individuals, particularly those in the LGBTQ+ community, aren’t automatically labeled or categorized based on societal expectations of gender and sexuality.
give it some thought
Incorporating gender-neutral language into our conversations creates respect for the diverse identities and relationships that make up our society. It expresses how we acknowledge that people’s lives and experiences are varied. Therefore, no one should feel excluded or uncomfortable because of the way they choose to live. We can take a small but meaningful step towards reducing assumptions and fostering inclusivity. This shift of adopting the term “partner” has the potential to break down barriers, and promote a culture where people are not judged or categorized based on outdated notions of gender, sexuality, or relationship status. With this, we help create a society where everyone feels respected and valued for who they are, without being confined by outdated labels or assumptions.
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