The dating world. What about it? Well in today’s day and age I believe the dating world has died and has reincarnated itself into what today’s generation calls hookup culture.
Over the years love has lost its purpose. Men used to spend countless days proving to a woman that he is worthy enough to be a part of her life. Showing his feelings through gestures such as delivering flowers or writing personalized love letters.
Back before chivalry died..
Men were the ones trying to prove their love and ‘get the girl’. Nowadays girls are forgetting their worth over a guy that doesnt even know how to fold his clothes.
The table has turned from then to now.
When thinking of the reasons as to why this shift may have occurred It may be that people are afraid of commitment or they just want to have fun with no consequences. No matter the reasoning it has been a societal shift that I will never fully understand.
The Box Theory
I’m not talking about an actual cardboard box but more of a mental category that men specifically use when they meet a woman. I read about this theory in a book called The Shift by Tinx. Going through how men will place women in one of the three categories when he meets them. Once you get placed into that box there is no word or action you can do that can shift you into another box.
You are either in the dating, hookup or just friend box.
An example could be you started a silly little hookup with a man. You both enjoy it so the girl starts thinking maybe it could be more. He says he doesn’t want anything right now and the girl thinks she can change him. But in his brain, you have already been placed in the hookup box and there is no room for improvement.
When a girl meets a guy she starts his rating at 100% and deducts points from there but a man starts every girl at 0% and builds her up from there.
Language
How we speak about dating has also shifted. There was no such thing as talking, situationship, etc. It was either you are dating or you’re not.
In the midst of trying to lazy date, we as a generation have complicated it so much. Constantly thinking about what you are with a person. From overthinking when the right time to text them back or if you put too many ‘y’s’ after saying ‘heyyyy’.
We have complicated it so much it is almost as confusing as statistics in my brain. So I am going to compare the evolution of titles given in dating from then to now:
Went on a few dates
Dating = Talking
Talking everyday + hanging out
Dating = Situationship
Talking everyday + hanging out + not seeing other people
Dating = Exclusive
Talking everyday + hanging out + not seeing other people + adding a title
Dating = Dating
