Rethinking Gender Roles this Thanksgiving 

Picture it: It’s Thanksgiving Day. You can smell all your favorite dishes in the kitchen. Hours were put into cooking the turkey to perfection. Hours were spent putting the final touches on the table decorations. Hours were spent planning the dinner menu, the desserts, and the appetizers. 

Who did this work? Whether it’s mothers, aunts, sisters, or grandmothers, I would argue that traditionally it is the women of the family who are found in the kitchen. 

It is difficult to break this narrative as it is a tale as old as time. Women tie on their aprons and prepare the meal while men sit on the couch and kick back to watch football. 

I have seen this in my own home for years and years. My mom spends at least a week planning out our Thanksgiving meal. Gathering recipes, planning her grocery list, going to the store several times to get all her ingredients. Not to mention, our family tends to host our extended family for several days on top of that. The amount of stress put on my mom’s shoulders during the holidays prevents her from getting the rest and relaxation she deserves. My dad on the other hand is in charge of stocking coolers and checking to see when dinner should be so it does not conflict with certain sporting events. 

Joanna Sciarrino, editor in chief at VinePair, wrote an article about the sexism embedded within her own Thanksgiving celebrations. Sciarrino shared similar sentiments of how over the years there was a clear division between the women taking on a steady cycle of cleaning and cooking while the men were in the living room watching sports. 

Over and over again the media portrays moms as stressed and rushing to get their ducks in a row for Thanksgiving. While the posts are satirical and supposed to be entertaining, what does it say that this is our reality? What does it suggest that my Tik Tok feed contains Dads snoring on the couch while moms are frantically trying not to burn the turkey and clean the dishes at the same time? 

If you are celebrating Thanksgiving this year, with friends or family,  I urge you to rethink the gender roles that are in place in your own celebration. Encourage everyone to play a role in the preparation and the clean up. This can take shape in a myriad of different ways: 

• Encourage all family members or friends to help prepare a side dish or a dessert. 
• Prompt others to help set the table.
• Delegate folks to clear the table and assist with the dishes. 
• Ask whoever appears to be running the show if there is anything you can do to help out or ease the process. 

It is unrealistic to shift gender roles completely during the Holiday season. However, small changes can enact bigger changes. When younger siblings see that the women of the family are not the only ones helping out, this can create a ripple effect in further generations. 

The holidays can already be a stressful time for all. Therefore, everyone can do their part in order to mitigate that stress and to create more space and time for everyone to rest and relax. Let’s do our part to make sure the hardworking hands of those who prepare the delicious meals and host us, are getting that same opportunity to unwind.