Advice to my Freshman Year Self.

Some advice I wish I could’ve given to my younger college self. These past few weeks, I have been reflecting on how much has changed in my life and how much I have grown over the past few years. To say I have all my stuff together as a Senior is a lie. I am less prepared than my Junior self. I always thought the seniors were so mature and put together when I was a freshman until I became one of them. Let me tell you. We aren’t. We’re scared, and we want to go back in time! 

Friends. You will find your people TRUST ME. It might take longer to find them, but you will find them. It also doesn’t have to be your roommate or your friends from high school. Think of college as a fresh start. You can be whoever you want to be and be friends with whoever you want to be. College is not high school anymore. You’re a full-grown adult and can choose who you want to surround yourself with. I was scared about this, too. My only advice is to put yourself out there. You know how your parents told you to keep your door open or knock on others’ doors to make friends… they weren’t kidding; it works. They also weren’t kidding when they said to join a club or organization on campus! I met so many people on my floor, in my classes, in my organization, and just through friends of friends. All you have to do is say hi. All humans want a connection of some sort; I promise you won’t get knocked down as quickly as you think you will. 

Stop Overthinking. I am naturally an overthinker, so coming into college just made that more difficult. I was constantly wondering what would happen, who I would meet, and if I would have friends… I realized very quickly that you can’t control things in college. Things happen so spontaneously and unplanned. I came to understand that the more I overthought every interaction and every tiny detail, the more I withdrew myself and who I was. Everything happens for a reason, and that mantra has kept me from going insane over the past couple of years. Remember to embrace the good with the bad and try your best to be present. I know it can be challenging, but I wish I had tried to be a little more present when I was a freshman and sophomore. Make sure not to compare yourself to others around you. Everyone is on a different path, and that’s how it should be. When you get to college, you’re essentially discovering yourself outside of the bubble you grew up in. 

Give yourself a break. When you come into college, you will have a very different experience. You find out YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. You share a bathroom with people, a room with people, a common area with people, and you’re in class with people and the dining hall with people. PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE. I am an extrovert, and I even struggled with this huge transition. You have to give yourself time. I personally felt the need always to go out because I had always been told to “soak up the time” and “the four years will fly by.” yes, all of these things are true.

Still, you will never enjoy the good times if you aren’t fully rested and your best self. School is hard because you’re trying to figure out your major and how college professors work, how to balance this new independence, and make friends. This stuff is challenging, and then add on joining a Greek organization, your major club, sport, or hobby. Now, you have added in an entirely new stressor. Your body and mind need to be able to rest and keep up. The dorm life is always hard because I swear you get sick almost every week. I advise taking a day or a weekend off if you feel mentally and physically burnt out. I promise you aren’t going to miss out as much as you think, and you will feel 100% better. Don’t worry about what others think or say because I am telling you right now that most people around you will do the same thing. Prioritize yourself first. 

Professors are nice. You remember those times in high school when the teachers would say, “In college, your teachers won’t let this fly,” or “Your professors won’t be as lenient as me.” It’s not true. Professors are way more lenient than high school teachers because they understand how stressful this time in our lives is. I am not saying every class is going to be a breeze, and some professors are harder than others, but at the end of the day, they’re humans and understand that things happen. They want you to succeed. Go to office hours when you’re struggling. It’s not embarrassing and will end up helping you so much in the end. Make sure you communicate if something comes up. I ended up having a family friend pass away, and I told them I would be out for a little while. Each of them worked with me to help me get through this time in my life. They aren’t scary and aren’t as mean as high school teachers portrayed them to be. Be respectful of their time, and if you are debating skipping class… go. 

Call your parents. Most of you are probably rolling your eyes, but honestly, do it. I have an older sibling and used to be jealous of her going to school and being independent. I also loved the fact that she got to have such long breaks when she did come home. Not only did she always spend time with me, but she also always wanted to spend time with my parents. I didn’t understand why. Now I do. Your parents are the only people who are truly always (hopefully) 100% there for you and your successes. They also miss you more than they might lead on. Parents are so used to being with you all the time that when you leave, they realize the time they had with you is slowly fading. They want to feel connected to you and know what you’re up to and how you’re doing. Whether that be a text, a call every Sunday, an email, or a picture you send, try your best to keep in touch with them because they genuinely do miss you and want you to be happy. The only way they know what’s going on is if you give them the courtesy of telling them.

Soak it in. Soak in every late-night study session, every spontaneous night out, you and your friends laughing and debriefing, soak in the sunsets and the way the seasons change, as well as how you change over the years. Give yourself some grace and push yourself a little harder when needed. Choose the little things because they might end up being the biggest things you remember. If I could go back in time and be a freshman again, I totally would. It goes by faster than you think it will. Don’t wish it away, and please don’t dwell on a bad test grade, a fight with a friend, or how your outfit looks. I heard a friend say if it doesn’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend 5 minutes worrying about it. When I walk across the stage in May, I want to be able to remember the best things that life and JMU brought to me. So I encourage you all to be present, but most of all, be unapologetically yourself. 

Four years flew by faster than I thought. This advice is more of a guideline I hoped I followed sooner in college. Not everything is going to be perfect, and that’s A-OK. Just take it day by day.