A woman’s wedding day, a day that is supposed to be filled with compassion and joy for everyone around. And, most of the time it is, and I am not here to say that these traditions still instilled should jeopardize anyone’s happiness. Everyone is free to think and do what they want, my goal is just to break down a couple of traditions I see as perpetuating some sexist attitudes towards weddings and the process. I have compiled a list of 4 commonly known traditions that come along with a wedding process, and why they can be seen as a bit degrading.
- The White Wedding Dress
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There is this expectancy that on the woman’s wedding day, she will pick out the perfect white dress. As most of you know, the color white is a symbol for this idea of purity. Also, women must be seen as pure on their wedding day to the guests, as well as their soon-to-be husband because that is what is respectful. The man is not allowed to see the bride before the wedding because that would be considered “un-pure.” He cannot see her without her white dress on because that could taint the purity of the woman. Which leads me into my next example.
2. The Garter Toss
Photo From: Unsplash
If you know the tradition of the garter toss, then you know its creepy as hell. The garter toss usually takes place during the wedding reception, and the garter is removed from the brides upper thigh by the groom. He either uses his hands or his teeth, even creepier. Essentially, the garter represents the “christening” of the marriage, which translates to the sexual aspect of the relationship. The bride and groom will “christen” their marriage by this representation, and the groom tosses it into the crowd of men (WHY? YOUR WIFE WAS JUST WEARING IT?). This is honestly, in my opinion, a private matter of you and your wife’s lives and making it public is basically flaunting that you guys will be sexually active after your ceremony and it is weird. The way I see it, the groom is saying “what’s mine is yours, boys!” Just weird.
3. Asking The Father’s Permission
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Historically, the man who will be asking a woman to marry him has to receive the father’s permission to have his daughters hand in marriage. I mean, come on. It is not normalized to ask the mother’s permission as well. I know that when I have someone I feel this close to, I will make sure he knows that I want him to have both of my parents permission before he is allowed to propose. This idea is a modern day equivalency to the ownership of a daughter. She cannot get married unless her father is ready to give her away like property, and goes to disrespect and minimize that some women in other cultures actually are owned by their fathers and have little choice to themselves. They are just considered for monetary purposes.
4. The Father “Giving” His Daughter Away
Photo From: Unsplash
Yet again, another tradition symbolizing a man’s ownership over a woman, and that she is only a father’s to give away. I am not saying there is not some sweetness to this tradition, it is just the idea behind it that is less than pleasant. It is the equivalent to saying yes, you can have my daughter she is now yours to own, and historically, and even now in other parts of the world, fathers trade and give their daughters away for the husbands to then own and “take care” of.
Some traditions have roots we may never think about. I am not saying it is bad that some people still enjoy these traditions, but it is important to understand what they symbolize and can sometimes stand in place for.
Feature Image from: Unsplash
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