Mythbusting Mondays: Women Must Think Safety of First

Hello ShoutOut readers. Today, I want to bust one myth that I had not really considered until it was brought up on a show that I had been watching. I was recently re-watching a few episodes of one of my favorite shows, Reba, where Reba’s teenage daughter, Cheyenne, gets pregnant at seventeen. Her principal tries to expel her from school because she does not want the school’s reputation to be ruined because of a pregnant teen. However, Reba asks if Van (Cheyenne’s boyfriend and the expectant father) will also be expelled and the principal says, “Setting limits has always been the girl’s responsibility. You know the old saying – boys will be boys.”

I was quite enraged when I heard this because of how all the responsibility is set upon the girl. A girl does not get pregnant all by herself. Her life is not the only one impacted by a pregnancy. The guy can, of course, more easily walk away but a responsible male would know that he should be careful as well. I am not saying that men should take all the responsibility. Women need to remind men if they forget and take other measures to protect themselves. However, birth control options for girls, specifically things like pills, are not full proof and so men also need to take care.

While pregnancy is something to worry about, sexually transmitted diseases are also a danger that affects men as well. There is talk about how condoms can limit sensation but here’s a question that should help decide it for couples debating not using a condom: would you rather have limited sensation or a baby on the way? I know what I’d pick.

People often blame the girl for not having taken the correct precautions. While gender discrimination/gender roles probably play a part in this, it also probably does not help that females show physical effects of their mistake – the pregnancy. STDs are not really something that can be seen physically on people so they are not publicly disgraced. It is a lot harder to hide a pregnancy. I feel that society thinks that because women carry the baby, it falls to her to take the most precautions when it actually affects everyone. The phrase, “boys will be boys,” is idiotic and gender does not excuse irresponsibility. If men were the ones to suffer the consequences, they would not be so quick to blame the girl for being lax in her use of contraceptives.

I do not mean to sound so judgmental about men because I’m sure there are plenty of men who always make sure to use condoms and take care of themselves and their partners. However, women are more harshly judged for any accidental pregnancies than the men who impregnated them are. It takes two to make a baby. Also, STDs ruin lives too. HIV/AIDS is a big problem that everyone should be aware of.

I feel a bit like a broken record but that is just how important contraceptive use is for both males and females. We all have a responsibility to take care of our partners but we must also remember that taking care of them also takes care of ourselves. Be smart about it.