While I’ve mentioned the term gaslighting in passing, it’s an issue that really struck me when I first encountered it and with the passing of time, its significance only grows. Whether I see it happening to women around me or I experience it in my own ways, gaslighting is a problem for men and women. The term “gaslighting” comes from the stage play, and eventually several screen adaptions, called “Gaslight.” In the film, a man attempts to steal a woman’s jewels by first marrying her, and then having her declared insane so that he can take possession of them. To do so, he makes subtle changes to her environment, like causing the gaslight to dim; when his wife comes to him, he convinces her that she is losing her mind, that she is just imagining it. In the clip below, her husband has removed a painting from the wall and hidden it. However, his wife has been so convinced of her madness, that she believes she has stolen it without realizing it. By forcing her to feel irrational and mad, he takes control over her.
The kind of gaslighting I am most interested in refers to a widespread phenomenon in which people’s ideas and emotions are dismissed as irrational or crazy as a way to undermine the person and make the person question their beliefs and emotions. Interestingly, though, it holds another meaning in psychology, as it is a behavior characteristic of aggressive and narcissistic personalities and “especially psychopaths.” There are several ways that these aggressive personalities can go about ‘gaslighting,’ which include asserting something with such intensity that the other person questions their own beliefs, vigorous denial of the other person’s claims, dismissal of ideas by shaming and guilting the other person, and the inclusion of hard to prove distortions in largely accurate facts. (Simon) Through these techniques, the aggressor is able to take control of and manipulate their victims.
While gaslighting is a technique used by aggressive and psychopathic personalities, I’m certainly not trying to accuse the bulk of people of being psychopathic. In fact, many people may not even realize the harm they are doing. However, gaslighting is a serious problem for women, “as it defines them as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged.” (Ali) Men, myself included, dismiss women with comments like ‘stop being so sensitive,’ ‘it was just a joke,’ or ‘you’re being crazy.’ When we do this to women, we’re not just ignoring their attempts to express their ideas and emotions, but we call into question their very perception of the world and the way they react to it. Being guilty of gaslighting does not necessarily make you a bad person though; if you can recognize the bad behavior, whether directed at women or men, then you can also stop doing it. The conditioning of our society to view women as crazy is widespread; it pervades into television with shows like the Real World and Jersey Shore, it shows itself when men joke that women can’t be president because of their PMS, and it manifests itself in abusive relationships, where women are made to feel deserving of the punishment inflected upon them. (Ali)
However, gaslighting doesn’t affect only women; I’m sure others have experienced it in other contexts, without ever realizing what was being done to them. I find myself dismissed as crazy and irrational constantly when I try to talk politics with people outside of my close group of friends because I call myself an Anarchist. The immediate response of most people is something along the lines of, “what are you, in middle school?” Instead of trying to understand my perspective, they dismiss it as immature and childish, and attempt to make me feel similarly. I’m tempted to say that I’m just asking for it by telling people that’s what I believe, but this only seems to reinforce the effects that gaslighting can have on us. Even the parts of us that we cling steadfastly to can be called into question and seem foolish when enough force and manipulation is applied.
Works Cited
Ali, Yashar. “A Message To Women From a Man: You Are Not ‘Crazy.’” The Current Conscience. 12 September 2011. Web. 11 December 2011.
Simon, George. “Gaslighting as a Manipulation Tactic: What It Is, Who Does It, And Why.” Counselling Resource. 8 November 2011. Web. 11 December 2011.
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