My Hair Makes a Statement? Possibly.

It all started with an idea. Actually, a lot of things do. But this particular blog post has been in the making for about three years now, ever since the day…. I cut my hair.

Now, I’ve always had straight hair that doesn’t do much of anything. Really. It just lies there, kind of chilling from my skull, hanging past my ears and just being all straight and resistant to any sort of curl or personality. And up until 3 years ago, I had always had long hair, well… my mom tells me I was bald until I was 2 but let’s pretend that didn’t happen. Outside of my baby days (which don’t count MOM), the shortest I had ever gone with my hair was about shoulder length and it was so bland and boring that I opted to grow it out in favor of the, still bland but easier to pull into a ponytail, longer hair. However, when it came time for me to enter college, I felt the need for something new. I was going into COLLEGE after all, I should look mature, sophisticated and remake myself a little bit. So I cut my hair to right about chin length.

The reactions were mixed. All my girl friends loved it, but all my guy friends literally just shouted at me, “What were you thinking?!” The jokes about having soccer mom hair or being a lesbian continued for a month or so until my best friend cut her hair short too, then they switched to making fun of her. As I made some new guy friends in college and I started to talk about wanting to do something new with my hair, the suggestions from the guys were, “You should grow your hair out, girls look better with long hair.” I had ONE guy friend tell me that women with short hair were more attractive to him. My girl friends made some similar suggestions. A few told me to go even shorter, but I definitely got this comment as well: “But men don’t like women with short hair, you can’t cut your hair shorter, men won’t like it.” The other day I was having a conversation with internationalcupcakebandit and the topic came up again, with both of us having a “wtf” moment over why it is that we give so much consideration as to what men want when we cut our hair (or don’t’). And then I started thinking about the emphasis on hair in our society and wondered, what is this all really about?

A few observations I have made on my own before I briefly look at some feminist literature on this subject (I know I know I can’t help it, the nerd in me had to read some scholarly articles!) First, the assumption that my ability to attract men with my hairstyle is worthwhile to note, it assumes a heterosexual orientation and implies that 1.not only is that the norm but 2. That men, not myself and my personal preferences, should influence the decisions I make about how I look. And what if I don’t want to attract men or, heaven forbid, I don’t want a man who’s interested in me simply because of my looks? Maybe I want someone who values me regardless of my hair length? Probably I’m just being ridiculous now.

Secondly, the jokes about being a lesbian because I have short hair should probably have their own blog post dedicated to address the topic but a quick commentary: first, being a lesbian shouldn’t be a cause for jokes and putting someone down, all too often what starts out as a joke becomes a serious issue for all involved parties. The number of children each year who are bullied and even commit suicide because they were picked on so much in school about their sexual orientation should keep anyone from making these types of jokes. Second, that lesbians all have short hair and are “butch” is an old and worn out myth that usually isn’t true and is just really funny to me because it’s just nonsensical and seems like a waste of time to even talk about.

The policing of my hair by other women was also an interesting thing to note, call me a nerd (I already call myself one) but in the back of my mind whenever women would tell me that I had to keep my longer hair or grow it out more, I could only think, “women policing other women to make sure they adhere to societal norms of beauty and conduct, heterosexual ones, interesting. I must look into this.” I find this pretty sad, I know that people always say “women dress for other women because if they were dressing for men, they wouldn’t get dressed at all,” but I think it’s sad and usually pretty true, albeit it again assumes a heterosexual orientation. I have caught myself doing this often enough; I’ll look at a woman’s outfit and immediately begin wondering “why did she put that sweater with that dress? Bad call, yuck what was she thinking?!” Yet this sort of policing is dangerous, just like with the joking and the bullying, punishing someone for falling outside of societally constructed norms through mockery and commentary is dangerous and harmful. We all do it, but we shouldn’t.

On the subject of hair, Rose Weitz writes in “Women and Their Hair: Seeking Power Through Resistance and Accomodation,” that hair is unique in that it is public, being visible to everyone, personal, because it is biologically linked to us and malleable to cultural and societal preference. Because of this, the topic of hair and hairstyles becomes a unique place at which social positions and ideals can be examined, but even more importantly, power. Women’s bodies have long been the site of power struggles between men and women, reproductive rights being the perfect example. However, with their hair, women find a unique place that they can modify or resist social norms. While there is obviously much difference in what is considered attractive amongst different cultures and ethnicities, Weitz finds that (as most JMU women know), beauty ideals for women’s hair in the US tends to prefer long hair that is curly or wavy and, if possible, blonde. It should be styled and look like both time and money were spent on it.

Weitz does some analysis on women who reclaim power through dyeing their hair, cutting it and using hairstyles to either help them get further ahead in jobs or relationships, or to throw off societal norms and do what they want. One woman interviewed explained that she cut her hair after she broke up with her boyfriend because it was what he had always been particularly attracted to and she felt that by doing so she could say “I’m more than my hair.” This made me smile because this is exactly what I’ve been doing ever since I entered college. I like to joke that my hair reflects how well my love life is going. Freshman year of college after the first haircut, I let my hair grow out to about shoulder length, but after things went south with a guy I was seeing, I cut my hair even shorter than the first haircut because I felt the need to prove that I was more than just my hair and that I was attractive without it. For me, cutting my hair shorter feels liberating and like a nice way to make a statement about reclaiming my identity outside of anyone else. Since then, I’ve cut my hair a few times for the same reason but lately I’ve been letting it grow out, however, that itch to cut my hair has been starting to get a little more persistent and difficult to ignore. While my love life did go south again just a while ago, this time I’m more inspired to cut my hair because I want to deviate from the norm, stand out and not look like every other woman on campus. And I like short hair…

As expected, my guy friends all groan when I talk about it and tell me “No, no you would have perfect hair if it was just a little bit longer, don’t cut it, it looks so good longer!” I’m thinking about it and… I’m gonna do what I want.

(here’s the Weitz article, http://gas.sagepub.com/content/15/5/667.full.pdf+html if you’re on campus you can access it, if not well, time to get clever with google!)