Do All Little Feminists Dream of Their Wedding Day?

All I’ve heard about for the past 2 months has had something to do with somebody’s “big wedding”. Royalty, celebrities, and even my older sister have thrown their wedding plans all over. To make it better, my sister has asked my opinion on everything. From the dress to save-the-dates and even to the ring. Happy to oblige and simply picking things that matched, I thought, am I supposed to know anything about this stuff? Am I supposed to care?

Everyone has heard that saying, “Every little girl dreams of her wedding day”. This just sounds odd to me because I don’t remember ever imagining my wedding day as a kid (although marrying Justin Timberlake at 13 was a frequent dream that I actually had). I don’t think I even thought about it until TLC bombarded TV with guilty pleasures like “Say Yes to the Dress”. It’s because of this saying and these projected ideas that women have been trained to cherish that one day of our lives since before we can remember. We dressed up and pretended to marry our neighbor or played M.A.S.H. to see who we’d marry and where our life would lead. Dreaming about our wedding is an ideal that has been planted in our head since we were little. Therefore it’s not shocking that most women still anticipate the day, but what about the rest of us who didn’t constantly dream of that? Are we wrong?

I’m not saying that women shouldn’t anticipate the day that they can be with one that they love, because I would love to get married one distant day myself. But to count down to one day while watching the other beautiful days pass seems silly to me. As a super-senior, I do cherish my days because I know my life at college is soon coming to an end. With mixed emotions, I’m ready to start that new chapter of my life but knowing what that entails still remains to be seen. For everyone close to me that I’ve seen graduate, a relationship, husband or wife, and family come next in the agenda of life. I feel like that’s what is expected of today’s youth: get an education, find a stable career, and make a family. And before all of that, we’re supposed to already have it planned out. From the dress to save-the-dates to the rings.

As much as I daydream, wander on the internet, and skim TV channels, I still know nothing about any kind of wedding gadget. I find myself questioning whether or not I, as a woman, should actually know about stuff like wedding designers or how many carats a ring has or should have. It seems that society has been expecting me to have this kind of stuff planned out for years and obviously, I’ve disappointed society. Even with third-wave feminists who are out in the world trying to change the gender roles and stereotypical expectations, women are still expected to have that whole day planned out and be waiting for it to come ever so patiently.

I know that other women have been faced with the same issue I have, dealing with the expectations that society places on future brides-to-be. And I’m sure that they have all faced the question I constantly battle: “Why are you still single?”, “When’s it going to be your turn?” My simple answer: “Eh, I’m busy with my life” Even with all of these stereotypical pressures from media and sexist expectations, I know that I don’t have to plan that day or count down to it. I think little girls should be given a new dream when they’re little: To live a great life for themselves.

And for all the women out there who face that pressure from parents, family, and even the Kardashians whose weddings make headlines, don’t fall to those expectations because after all, eloping is a lot cheaper 😉